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March 8, 2011

Becoming...

I only just realized it...

A a child, I had the impression that my mother could fix anything.  Any toy, any bump or bruise, any emotional woe.  My mom could make it better.

I'd still really like to believe, and you'd be amazed how often she does.  But I know she's only human, that it's no fault of hers that there are some things you just can't fix.

But I guess I always figured that when I was a mother, I'd have that power, too.  And I don't.  I just have the ability to make my kids forget REALLY QUICKLY that something isn't okay.

The real trick of being a mother isn't that you get to make it better.  It's that no matter how bad it is, you see the best things, ONLY good things, about your child.  And that means that no matter how bad things might be, THEY make it better for you.

And so I'm sitting here, after my day...

  • Babysitter with flu, missing class
  • Return of mystery illness after medication failure, Doctor pronouncement that medical failure=cure
  • writer's block (of sorts)
  • back pain
  • thoughtlessness, rudeness, and some OFFENSIVE shit from people I need to work with (class project)
  • pointless transport of children across town and back (see above) 

...of misery, feeling happy and at peace with the world.  Because two of the most amazing people in the world are sleeping peacefully, after being tucked into bed with love and kisses by their mother.  Who can fix anything.

I'm a superhero.

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