So Many Playgrounds, So Little Baby-Having

Yeah... they're pretty cute.  :)

As you can probably guess either from the title of this post or from the fact that I'm writing it, I'm still pregnant.

But lucky you- I'm lumping two days worth of outings into one post!  Woo hoo!

Yesterday and today, we (that's me, Grandmommy, and Poppa) took the girls to different playgrounds for them to run off steam, for me to get some (but not too much) exercise, and for all of us to keep distracted from the fact that I am STILL pregnant.

To give you an idea of how surprised we all are (and nobody more than I) that I haven't popped yet, it was Grandmommy and Poppa's plan to stay here until the baby was born, and then for a week or two.  That is why when they moved in, they didn't bother to pack things like... bathing suits or shorts.  Yeah. Summer wasn't supposed to be involved.

So yesterday we took the girls to a park that I don't know the name of.  Why don't I know the name?  Because it is brand spankin' new.  So new, the Google satellite images of it only show a construction site.  So new, it still has landscaping stakes and twine up all over.  So new, it's utterly immature trees provide almost zero shade.  And it is totally awesome.  It's one of the girls' favorite places.  It was built in connection with a new harbor just south of McCormick Place.

None of the slides have ladders.  They're all positioned on hill things so that all the kids can climb up at once, and there's no risk in falling off- no matter how high or steep the slide might be.  There are swings and awesome climbing structures, and monkey bars, and a rock climbing wall... and two sprinkler areas!  Silly us, we didn't bring the girls' swimsuits... but we did have spare clothes for after they were totally soaked.

Pictures!

The "bumpy slide" has been a favorite spot for over a month now

Holding hands- such sweet angels!

Swingin' with Poppa and Grandmommy

Getting soaked

...totally soaked

SI is fearless when it comes to high places.  DD wasn't so sure about that
slide, but SI didn't hesitate.

She also didn't hesitate here.  Which is how she sort of got stuck.

The other park we went to was Indian Boundary Park, way up on the northwest side.  This park is awesome.  In fact, when M and I were house hunting, a place across the street made it into our top three.  Based in large part on the fact that the giant playground was visible right outside the living room window.

My father is an old, old man.

The playground looks like a gigantic wooden castle- and I do mean GIGANTIC- with things like a giant sandbox hidden on the inside.  There's a big sprinkler area for kids to run around and get soaked- always a plus.  Bunches of picnic tables.  A so-called "petting zoo," although there is no petting, just looking at farm animals.  A vegetable garden.  And a duck pond.

...as you can imagine, it was a big hit.  With everyone but Poppa.

Poor Poppa managed to take a misstep in the playground, and hurt his hip.  Lucky him, I keep a cane in the car because my hips are frequently a source of a great deal of trouble to me thanks to the SPD.  But that didn't stop me from making fun of Poppa mercilessly.  After all, he never misses an opportunity to make fun of me for being huge and pregnant.  I might as well take advantage of my oh-so-easy opportunities to call him old.

...I mean really, look at that old feller!

This time, we planned ahead and brought the bathing suits and towels.  Score.  Added plus?  We picked up Five Guys fries for the drive home.  Chicago is a huge city, and from our home on the southeast side to Indian Boundary Park on the northwest side is about a forty five minute drive.  So, fries were required.

More pictures!

Chickens!

I truly felt for this incredibly pregnant goat.

SI in the depths of the castle

Exploring bridges and towers and slides

DD loves the water!

Total abandon- I love it.

DD leading her sister to the water...

...SI HATES having water in her face!

Feeding the ducks, geese (who were remarkably friendly, even if one
tried to take a few bites out of SI), turtles, and fish.  Of which
there were MANY.

...this picture is hilarious.

I'm pretty sure that tomorrow or the next day we'll be heading to either the zoo or the Field Museum.  Because one of those will be too much fun for Baby X to miss.

...I hope.

I Could Have Had A Baby Today

This post is illustrated with pictures from yesterday's trip to the 63rd St. Beach.
Which was amazingly COMPLETELY DESERTED on a Tuesday morning.

I could have had a baby today.

I mean, there's still time and all.  I still might.  But I could have.

SI playing in the surf

Last week, Baby X was breech and partially engaged.  My OB, without telling me, went ahead and scheduled me a c-section for today.  Because if she was still breech, we'd be doing that.

But miracle of miracles, the baby flipped.  At 40 weeks.  Again.

And now we're back to the waiting game.

...but I could have had the c-section.  And he thinks I should have.  Not because she's unhappy or unhealthy in there, but because he says he's "getting a bad feeling" about this delivery.

Because there is something very unusual about a baby flipping at 40 weeks.

Because there is something very unusual about having a cervix like a rock when it appears that you're carrying a nine or ten pound baby.

DD contemplating the waves

Because there is something very unusual about having such poor uterine muscle tone that you are able to accomodate a rotating baby and plenty of fluids after 40 weeks.

...and so, he says I really should think about a c-section.  Not because of the previous cesarian, but because he's beginning to wonder if I am going to be able to labor this baby out.  Because things seem weird.  (His word choice, not mine.)

I talked to my doctor.  I talked to my doula.  They both asked me the same question when I asked their opinion.

"Do you want to have any more kids?"

And of course, if I do, I should try for the VBAC.  And of course, if I don't, it really doesn't matter.  The problem is that I just don't know.

And so I could have had a baby today.  But I decided to give it another week.  See if things get going.

I don't know why I love this picture so much

Keep eating allegedly labor-inducing foods.

Keep having fun and active outings with the girls.

But now I am beginning to really worry.  To doubt.

And it all seems so important.

I don't know why it seems to matter so much.  Why should it matter at all whether I labor this baby out?  Why should anything matter other than that we both come through it, healthy and relatively unscarred?

It matters because everything seems to matter in parenting.  Everything seems so consequential.

Everything is a choice that you have to make.  Every choice has fallout.  Every fallout brings the need to make more decisions.  And so on.  From the moment you start thinking about how you're going to behave during your pregnancy until, presumably, you die.

DD's grin slays me every time

Until you're wondering if maybe your kid wouldn't get ear infections if they had been born vaginally.  Or if your kid wouldn't have ADD if you'd opted for a c-section and an earlier delivery.

Or if your kid would have gotten into a better college if you'd breastfed for longer.

And it's ridiculous.  But it's there.

I could have been having the baby today.  In one hour.

Instead?  I'm taking the girls to the playground.  Or the zoo.  Or something.

...and I'm waiting.

Carefree