Sunday Blogaround - 9.22.13

Hello! And welcome to another edition of the Blogaround!

It was another fantastic week in the blogosphere. I'd tell you all about it, but then I'd be taking valuable reading time from you instead of letting you get to these spectacular pieces.

Enjoy!


"Our Land- The Water Lily" - Finding Ninee
Frequently when we hear stories about special needs kids, because they're special needs kids, it's sad things. Bullying, abuse, a lack of intervention, lack of access to care, unanswered questions. A guest post from the Tao of Poop gives us a different kind of story. This is a story about the many facets of a single label, and what happens when all children are given the opportunity to grow.


"Dear parents, you need to control your kids. Sincerely, non parents." - The Matt Walsh Blog
This is not a letter to parents from non-parents. This is a letter to a single guy, who insulted a mom in the grocery store with a screaming kid. This is a love letter to that mom. This is an anthem. This is the pat-on-the-back I need whenever being a good parent trumps being quiet. Bravo.


"Quiet is Good" - Fortuitous Sometimes, quiet is good. But not the quiet that tells you your kids are painting your living room with nail polish. The quiet where you exist together, peacefully, enjoying the day or the company or just... quiet. A lovely break from the rest of life.


"Bed Time Poem" - Ask Your Dad Normally, I am not a huge fan of this kind of thing. I started reading it, and I was all ready to just post him the link to "Go The Fuck To Sleep," when it took a turn. As parenting so often does. It's not so much a bed time poem as it is a plea for understanding from parents and children alike. And a reminder that with little kids, it's moment to moment. Some are good, some are bad, some are easy, and some aren't. Lovely.

"Character Assassination Carnival: The Very Hungry Caterpillar" - Mommy Needs a Martini
As anyone who's spent a lot of time with small children knows, sometimes you read a book one too many times. And sometimes, no matter how fond your associations with it, you want to throw it out the window. And sometimes, those books are ripe with comedy gold.


"Dan and Matt and a Woman Friend" - Theresa Basile
This is an old friend of mine from way back in the day. She's a comedy writer, among other things, and now she's writing for this web series that you DEFINITELY should watch. Being a feminist blogger (as I said, other things), she was a perfect candidate to describe whether or not the Dan and Matt Show is a feminist show. And who says feminists don't have a sense of humor?


"At Least Albert Finney Doesn't Mention His 'Rocks'" - 649.133
Along with those books that we love but love to tear apart, there's those movies. I love Annie. I love that my kids love Annie. And yeah, there are some huge freaking racist problems with Annie. But there are also so many spectacular jokes in there for us, the adults. My personal favorite is Bernadette Peters asking what Carol Burnett is "incinerating" and then looking hard done by as Burnett removes her string of pearls from Peters' cleavage.


"Sticks and Stones Aren't Shit Compared to Words" - Writer B Is Me
This. When I was a teenager, I also got messages about my body everywhere. Not so much from my mother, but I assumed that she was oblivious, or somehow stupid, not to notice how fat we all were. Here's the thing, we weren't fat. We were just never skinny. While my older sister jumped in and out of anorexia, shedding dozens of pounds and packing them back on, I silently stared at myself in the mirror, hating what I saw. And every word cut.


"You Must Not Worry About Santa" - Letters of Note
This letter is one of the most adorable things ever. A little girl heard that the Russians were going to test nuclear bombs at the north pole, and she panicked, writing a sweet letter to President John F. Kennedy. And he wrote her back.


"Watching the Waves" - Daddy Knows Less
More on the subject of quiet, and then not. DKL has written quite a bit about the Jersey Shore, and there have been plenty of things to write about lately. This is a lovely story about his grandfather, and learning to appreciate the things that are both free and eternal.


"Gush" - Finally Mom Normally, I don't really post links to other people writing about how spectacular their kids are. Normally, I figure that's the kind of thing that we mostly keep to ourselves, to our own blogs, to our own lives. But this was just too sweet, too tender, and too honest not to share.


"Boys" - Mamalode
Jenni Chu  shares this pearl with us, about rape culture and raising boys. This is the story of something horrific, and rare- a home invasion sexual assault. But that's only a brief interlude, because this is a story about something we all need to consider, that we can all relate to. The way we raise children, and the way we were raised. This is rape culture. This is what we can fix with our children.


"Antarctica. Srsly." - Antarctica. Srsly
My friend Brendan is back on the ice. And his photographs are WONDERFUL. So if you want to take a few breaks from your autumn and remind yourself that you're not really cold, go look at his spectacular shots of ice floes, penguins, seals, and science station hijinks.

My Daddy Snores, and Other Avoidable Bedtime Catastrophes

DD and SI testing out mattresses

(This is a sponsored post. I was given the book I review, but all of the opinions are my own.)

You probably don't know this, but sleep health is sort of a pet issue of mine. From the time I was about eight and a half until well into my adulthood, I suffered from severe insomnia.

And I mean SEVERE insomnia.

By the time I was ten my mother essentially gave up on forcing me to go to sleep. Eventually, she tucked me in on the couch, handed me a collection of Ray Bradbury short stories, and poured me a shot of Peach Schnapps that she directed me to, "Sip slowly." Which I did.

I think her intention was to relax me and ease me into sleep. Sadly, it didn't work.

I completely covered the wall at 16

By the time I was in high school, I had a nighttime routine. I'd lay in bed for about an hour, listening to quiet music and meditating (my father's attempts to help had been guided meditation techniques). After my CD had ended, I'd lie in the dark feeling frustrated. Then I'd get up and ransack every recycling basket in the house for magazines, catalogs, and newspapers, and cut every single eye out and tape it to my wall.

Creepy? Sure. I'm not making excuses.

After that, I'd lay down again, and switch CDs. Sometimes, I managed to fall asleep. When I didn't, I'd put on my shoes and sneak out of the house. I'd wander around the neighborhood, pilfering roses from the house at Ferdon and Granger, and leaving them on my friends' doorsteps. I walked past the frat houses, through the quiet downtown, swing on the swings at Burns Park Elementary School...

And when the sky started to get that hazy, pre-dawn look to it, I'd walk home, climb into bed, and fall asleep. Just in time to be shaken awake for school the next day.

I tell you all of this because I GET IT- sleep is important. It might sound like I was having a blast, but I suffered through my insomnia. Not sleeping? That's a big deal. Not sleeping well? It's almost as bad. Sometimes, it's worse.

A few weeks ago, I was lucky to attend a Sleepy's event, with Nancy Rothstein, Sleep Ambassador and author of "My Daddy Snores."

Nancy Rothstein has written a children's book about the importance of sleep. More importantly, she's likable book about the importance of sleep. My kids LOVE this book.
written a funny, engaging,

It's a silly tale of woe- poor Mommy can't get any sleep because Daddy snores. The illustrations are
adorable. And eventually, Mommy has HAD IT and takes Daddy to the doctor- and the doctor cures Daddy of snoring.

There are three, yes three, incredibly effective takeaways for kids from this short picture book.

1. Snoring is a curable condition, and going to a doctor can make it stop. This is great- kids have no filter, and the admonition of children is a HUGE motivator for adults. I might not be able to approach my father in law and say, "You should really see a doctor about that snoring," but my kids sure can. Because kids are awesome at just saying things like they are, as they see it.

Bouncing on beds with balloons

2. Sleep, healthy sleep, is important. It's worth fighting for, it's worth working for, and it is its own reward.

3. Going to see the doctor when something isn't quite right about your body is okay. This is a big problem in our society- this machismo regarding our health. Unless we're bleeding out of our ears, we don't want to see a doctor.

My kids love this book- and they play-act around it regularly.

"Mommy! This picture is of Johnny the Spider! His daddy snores! His daddy snores SO LOUD! They need to go to a doctor so everyone can sleep!"

It's pretty cute.

So Ms. Rothstein, the Sleep Ambassador, handed out a few spectacular tips for improving your night's sleep.

1. Turn off your devices. The light emitted by televisions, computer monitors, your phone, your kindle... those are are blue spectrum lights. Those are lights that confuse your brain about the time of day and throw off your circadian rhythm. The only color light that doesn't? Red. Which is bad news if you don't particularly like sleeping in a dark room, but great news if your kids are obsessed with pink and want a pink nightlight. That pink nightlight will be less disruptive to their sleep than a white or blue light.

2. Almond milk! That old wives tale about a glass of milk? Not so great for sleeping, as it turns out. But almonds are loaded with compounds, like theanine, that aid sleep. So replacing a pre-bedtime glass of milk with almond milk? I've been doing this at home and I can tell you- it works.

3. Bedtime music. Some music keeps you awake, and some helps you sleep. So what helps you sleep? Sounds that are somewhat unfamiliar. When your brain starts falling into familiar patterns, it wants to complete them- keeping it awake. But unfamiliar sounds... I think this is why so many lullabies are written in minor keys. We tend to associate so much of music (particularly kids' music) with major keys- those minor tones can sound discordant. And that's good- that will help them sleep. So cue up the creepy lullabies- they're better for bedtime than Twinkle Twinkle!

Baby on the move!

4. Yoga! Doing yoga before bed relaxes your mind and body, making it easier for your mind to make the transition. There is so much literature that opposes working out before bed, and there's a lot to it, but a simple, relaxing yoga routine before hitting the hay can help make the transition to unconsciousness a lot easier.

5. Consistency! It might seem like the number on the clock isn't that important, but it is. A rigid routine has lasting effects- it's almost Pavlovian. So make sure you start your bedtime routine at the same time every night.

6. Last but not least, your mattress. Ms. Rothstein pointed out that we spend a full third of our lives sleeping. So why would you choose to spend all of that time on a mattress that didn't help you sleep? People balk at dropping a few thousand dollars on a mattress (I am still balking), but she's right- you really can't put a price on high quality sleep. I could spend $2,500 on a good mattress that would keep me sleeping better for ten years, or I could spend $100 a month on the xanax that frequently helps me get to sleep, for a total of $12,000 over the same time period. That's a pretty simple cost/ benefit analysis.

With all that said, I have definitely started bugging my husband about the quality of our mattress- which is more than ten years old, crushed on one side, and has NEVER been terribly comfortable for me. So that's definitely happening in the not too distant future.

And I am taking the bedtime routine for my kids more seriously. I know the long-term consequences of poor sleep personally, and if I can help my kids avoid them?

Awesome.