Our Annual Letter

Dear Family and Friends,

What with the connectivity of Facebook, email, and Skype, it's easy to forget that you aren't here, at our fingertips as it were, day after day. It is remarkable to feel so connected, and I regret that in many ways it has only distanced us further. A passing awareness of the events one has in life is not the same as sharing something real. I hope this letter can be that to all of you.

SI and DD turned four years old in October. This change has been most profound to SI, who daily begins some remembrance with, "A long, long time ago, when I was three years old..." At recess in preschool she found a dried pod on the ground. She extracted several seeds and insisted on planting them in class. Her teachers tried to prepare her for disappointment, but SI vigilantly watered them. And, like the carrot seed, something came up! Three mystery trees sprouted, and each morning at school she takes pride in measuring their growth.

Being four is a lot of work. The girls understand that
with the privileges they enjoy as“big girls,” they have additional duties. These include sharing their room with RH, not taking toys to the dinner table, and making their own beds. Some days SI sighs and tell me she wishes she could still be three, unfettered by responsibility. But she bears her burdens well enough.

DD relishes the freedom of four-dom. She considers her top bunk a sacred trust and a source of endless pride. She has a burgeoning dramatic streak- already she's staging, directing, and narrating theatrical productions of nursery rhymes. My favorite is "Little Bunny Foo-Foo." She dresses in her finest gowns, adorns SI with wings and a magic wand to play the Good Fairy, and puts bunny ears on RH- tasking her with the titular role. In fact, DD's constant encouragement of her baby sister is one of her sweetest qualities. She makes faces at RH from her top bunk, and RH squeals in delight whenever her mentor appears. Even if it IS nap time.

After more than six months of twice weekly physical therapy, RH is finally walking! Perhaps the most beautiful sight I've seen all year is RH, walking into a room with book in hand, greeting everyone with a dimpled smile and crystal clear, "Hello!" She's a delight to feed, eating everything and declaring nearly all of it satisfactory. And she loves nothing more than a good book- a child after my own heart! She also has more than a passing obsession with Batman and the Care Bears.

It's been an educational year for all of us. M has returned once more to night school, in preparation for his licensing exam. Over a summer of hosting a Spanish teenager I've learned that, yes, I'm an adult. I've also figured out that writing, editing, querying, and publishing an entire book in three months is at the very least ambitious and realistically naive to the extreme. That said, the process is going well. With the support of the Huffington Post and the NCEES, M and I expect big things in the coming year.

This season is a delight. My favorite part is when the first cards come in the mail. I take down the pictures of friends, family, children, vacations, dogs, weddings, and babies all over my kitchen. Then I set to the joyful task of re-decorating with a new set of faces, happier and a little older than the year before. Your faces grace our walls year round, far flung though you may be.

We wish you everything for your 2014 we wish for ourselves. Growth, success, learning new things, and finding joy and wonder in every day. And most importantly, we wish you the constant knowledge that you are loved. A happy holiday season to all of you.

You are always in our hearts,
The SuperMommy Family

Black Friday

Thanksgivukkah done right.

Right now, there are people all over the country, waiting in lines in the cold, shuffling from store to store, with fistfuls of coupons and catalogs of advertising circulars crammed in their pockets. Because Thanksgiving ends the moment you can fasten your belt again.

Right now, people are trampling each other, fighting each other, racing against strangers to buy another toy, another juicer, another sweater. Because the perfect Christmas gift is more important than a whole day, free to share the company of people you love.

Truth be told, I've had my holiday shopping finished for over a month (except for one ridiculously hard to shop for person). And not just because Channukah is working on its third day by now. Truth be told, I buy presents for people year round, regardless of how far away their birthday or the next holiday might be. But that's just what works for me- I'm not going to tell you there's a right way to get presents for people, and I have the secrets.

Poppa picnicking with the girls

But I do think there is a wrong way.

I do think that we have a problem with values in this country. And that can be summed up in single day- Black Friday.

We have a holiday in this country, one of only two American holidays. Not memorial days, not days to reflect on the sacrifices of our military members or civilians lost. There are only two days that our country has to celebrate the joys of American life.

The Fourth of July, when we celebrate our independence, and Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving, when we allow ourselves the opportunity to feel grateful to the Native Americans who we have systematically oppressed since we landed on these shores. When we gather with our families not because of religious obligation, but because that is what we are truly grateful for.

Thanksgiving is a day when we gather together not to give each other gifts, but to take joy in each others' company. When we feel grateful for all that we have, when we feel thankful for our time together.

But as soon as the whipped cream starts to melt, we set aside those feelings of gratitude, bundle up in our hats and scarves, grab our shopping lists and hit the stores. People die every year, trampled by crowds anxious for yet another Elmo toy, the new skinnier television, a cardigan with the right name on the label.

Aunt Something Funny and nieces around the Menurkey

I understand the impulse. The allure of good bargains is strong, sure.

But it undermines what Thanksgiving is about. Black Friday is a narcotic relapse after a day of remembering that really, you have everything you need.

And maybe worse than that, it undermines the purpose of gift giving come Christmas or Channukah or what-have-you. The point of giving a gift isn't presenting somebody with the most expensive version of something, with the largest something, with the MOST something.

It's about showing somebody that you know them, and you love them, by presenting them with a token of your affection.

The point is to spend money they wouldn't spend on themselves. Does it really matter if you spent ten percent less?

The point is to spend energy they wouldn't spend on themselves. Does anybody really need a nationally designated day for doing it?

And the point of Thanksgiving is to experience gratitude. Not to plot your route for getting the most of more in a few short hours.

New nightgowns

Today I'm sitting by the fire, reading books with my children, eating pumpkin pie blintzes and leftover latkes, nibbling cold green bean casserole and snapping pictures of my kids in their nightgowns. I'm nursing a hot drink and listening to the laughter of the people I love most in the world.

This is what I'm Thankful for.

I think I can dedicate a whole 24 hours to the experience.

Happy Thanksgiving, lovely readers. I am grateful for all of you.

You and your families are in my heart.