May 12, 2014

Little Gifts

The givers of many little gifts
This last month has been a nonstop carousel of insanity.

Passover came and went, with a flurry of chaos and love and joy and family.

Great aunts and uncles, distant cousins... a ridiculously full house for the Passover seder
Easter came and went, with sunshine and chocolates and full houses and full tables.

My Jewish, atheistic, color blind father dyes his first Easter eggs with my children
My birthday came and went, and I left my twenties forever to join the ranks of "real" adults. Sort of.

Yeah, that's me rocking out with a live band at a seedy bar. I'm singing the Beatles, because I'm edgy.
I performed in "Listen To Your Mother," which was a remarkable and moving experience. (Yes, more on this later.)

Photo by Balee Images
And then Mother's Day, with my children's love and the blaring, oppressive heat and humidity of Chicago in May.

Kisses and hugs are always the best gifts
And through it all, I've been working as hard as I can on the book. The book. It's practically an obsession right now, because it's practically done. Really done. I've put it through the ringer with beta readers and professional editors. I'm incorporating the last dozen bits of feedback and building it into something bigger and stranger than I imagined it would be. This thing, this labor of love of mine.

It's so close to done, I'm almost afraid of finishing it.

And through all this, it's been the little things that have kept me happy beyond reason.

My children, singing the Four Questions in Hebrew for their enormous extended family
Beautiful sunny days after a bitter, seemingly eternal winter
Visits from old friends
The friendship of these remarkable and ridiculous women
(Again, Balee Images)
My daughter marching around the house in her Pirates cap, screaming "GO PIRATES!" at the top of her little lungs
And maybe my favorite little gift. Messages from you, my lovely readers, making sure that I'm okay, that I haven't left the blog or you. And I haven't. I'm here, and I love you all. And now that this month of insanity has passed, now that I'm almost really truly completely done with the book, now that I'm not having daily panic attacks over getting onto a stage alone, or trying to decide what turning thirty means, or setting ever more places at the table, I can come back to you.

I've missed you all.

It's going to be a glorious summer.

May 8, 2014

Don't Disconnect- Mental Health Awareness Month


A huge proportion of my friends and family are mentally ill.

I don't mean that in a joking, silly, "Oh, my friends are so crazy!" kind of way. Because "crazy" is a mean word for a real thing, and May is Mental Health Awareness month. I mean nearly everyone I spend time with, on a daily basis or on a long term basis, copes with mental illness.

The common statistic is that one in four people are living with mental illness, but I think it's probably higher. Because people don't want to come out and get help for something they see as a weakness, rather than a medical condition.

Most people don't talk about it. There's so much stigma, so much fear when it comes to being "outed" as... well... "crazy."

The fact is, "mental illness" and "crazy" aren't even close to the same thing.

If you think about the huge range of physical ailments humans suffer, we'd agree most of the people we know are, in some way, sick.

They have asthma, or gluten intolerance, or are recovering from cancer, or have allergies, or arthritis, or obesity, diabetes, migraines, or high blood pressure. And we consider this completely normal. This is the way people are. Are they dying? No, not generally. But they have some kind of ailment. And very often, they're medicated for them.

Mental health is pretty much the same thing.

I know people with sensory processing issues. With bipolar disorder, PPD, anxiety, neuroses, PMDD, situational depression, eating disorders, PTSD, chemical dependency issues, body dimorphic disorder, phobias, RTS... the list goes on.

And this? This is also "normal." This is what happens when a human being has a brain, and subjects it to the rigors of life. Just as high blood pressure, arthritis, knee injuries, and tooth decay are a symptom of having a body and using it for years without a break.

You never get a break from living, and living wears you down. In more ways than physically.

But we don't ask about people's emotional health. We don't ask about their mental health. Because we can't see it. Because we're afraid of it.

We're afraid of what's happening inside other people's heads.

But we shouldn't be. The human brain is an amazing thing, and we hardly understand it. We know we absolutely need it, but so much about our own minds is total mystery to us. And asking people if the mysterious grey matter inside their heads that allows all of human life to be possible is, you know, doing okay... it feels uncomfortable.

The same thing we don't want to ask about is what makes us not want to ask that. Brains are strange, indeed.

But we need to.

We need to ask about it, to care about it.

Your brain is an organ, just as surely as your kidneys and liver are. And like your lungs, kidneys, and hearts you NEED your brain. You function better when it's healthy.

We don't distinguish "heart health," and "liver health" when we ask somebody how they're doing. We ask about the body as a whole, and assume that whatever might be slightly off about it today is something below the neck. But "brain health" and mental health are the same thing.

To suggest otherwise is to claim that your mind and your body are only loosely connected at best. But let's face it- your brain is part of your body.

Mental health is just plain health. Because health is about quality of life, the ability to function. And if your brain isn't working properly, you're just as unhealthy as if it's your gall bladder acting up.


It's Mental Health Awareness month. So be aware, yes. But before that, be self aware. Take the time to ask yourself if you've neglected your brain, if you've stigmatized its problems before addressing them.

Take the time to ask if you've done that to somebody else.

And don't be afraid to see a doctor for your brain. There are doctors for your skin, for your reproductive organs, for your feet... you need your brain just as much.

Take care of yourselves.

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