How to Humiliate The Most Important Person In Your Life, or, Happy Father's Day

I melt.

My husband is a committed father, a loving husband, and I'd wager a pretty decent son. He is everything I ever wanted in a partner, even when I didn't know I wanted it.

He is my everything, as far as humans are concerned, and he inspires me constantly to be the best version of myself.

That said, one of my favorite of his many endearing qualities is how willing he is to be made to look silly.

That's why when I found this extra awesome sale in April- yes, April- I knew I had located a perfect Father's Day gift.

It tread that line between hilariously wonderful and mortifyingly horrific.

Like I said, perfect.

And so the children and I ambushed M before he could get dressed, to give him a Father's Day present.

The blurry look on his face clearly says, "W.T.F."

His reaction was all I could have hoped for. Shock and hilarity, followed by dread at the revelation that all his children now had identical t-shirts. And all of them were thrilled to put them on, just like Daddy's!, to go out in public for the entire day. (I confess, I neglected to include myself in the purchase of family magical unicorn tees. Mommy's prerogative.)

My unicorn family

At first he was a little self conscious. I can't blame him. After all, he was a six and a half foot tall adult man wearing a purple magical unicorn t-shirt.

But embodying the very qualities I've always loved about him, he quickly embraced his role as a dedicated father and consummate joker.

Thank you, M, for teaching our children yet another way to postpone eating

As we do every year, we went on an outing for Father's Day- this year to The Field Museum. M is a bit obsessed with the Columbian Exposition of 1893, and the girls have caught a bit of his fervor. After all, we live practically on the grounds of the original fair, so the kids are familiar with a few important World Fair landmarks. They were utterly rapt when presented with an entire animated display of the Spirit of the Republic- known 'round these parts as "Big Mary."

He's indoctrinating his children with a lifelong love of all things Chicago

We had a spectacular day, M getting more and more confident that he was completely rocking the unicorn tee- as stranger after stranger grinned at him and his kids, wishing them, "Happy Father's Day!"

So many smiles

As for me, I can't help myself. There might be no more knee-weakening sight than the handsome rogue you married, confidently striding among a sea of neo-ravers on their way to SAMF with Skrillex blaring through the air, displaying a watercolor-y, rainbowed, castle bound unicorn across his chest.

He is much beloved

I'd marry that man over again every couple of months, if we could afford the parties.

Happy Father's Day, M.

A Non-Stop Lovefest - Highlights from Blog U

Me with Science of Parenthood, From Meredith to Mommy, Urban Moo Cow,  Momopolize, Not So Super Mom,
Pickles Ink, My Dishwasher's Possessed, Ava Chin, Mommy Needs a Martini, and Her Royal Thighness, among others!

This past weekend, I was fortunate enough to attend Blog U- a Blog Con in Baltimore. The whole two days were a nonstop lovefest, sharing hugs and selfies and stories and laughter and tears with nearly all my favorite women of the internet.

They're real people! Not just avatars and cartoons and logos! And not only are they actual human beings, and awesome ones at that, but getting to know them has completely changed my internet experience. Now, when I go around reading blogs... I hear them in the voices of the brilliant people behind the keyboard.

And that is pretty freakin' sweet.

For me, there were a few moments that stand out more than any other.

1. Hearing some of my favorite bloggers read some of their best work at the impromptu post-cocktail party open mic.

Sharing our best

This was, in a word, amazing. Sitting back drunkenly with thirty of your new friends, sharing your work and your words, all of that is incredible. But seeing people you've admired from a distance for years speak their own words in their own voices? AMAZING. AMAZING AMAZING AMAZING.

I'm sure you remember last year when I bugged you a million times to vote for me for Blogger Idol, and you read all the posts and got to know a couple really incredible bloggers? Well, one of those in the top three with me was Real Life Parenting. And you know what? That lady is a class act. And utterly hilarious.

This lady is hilarious.

Seeing her read was truly a thrill.

It was such a great way to start the con. Every time I met somebody, a lightbulb clicked on over my head. "You read about your son pooping in the car! It was so funny!" "Your bit about the pumpkin crap... brilliant!"

And the thrill of the occasional person coming up to me and saying, "Was that true? Is M okay now?" was also kind of awesome.

It's hard not to be instant friends with somebody when you already love each other's writing.


2. Getting inappropriately drunk and dancing like a maniac with some of the funniest ladies on the internet.

Who's that drunken blogger in the stripes? Oh... wait...

Seriously, Pickles Ink and Something Clever 2.0 are lunatics on the dance floor, and I love it. I conga-ed like an oncoming train wreck, one hand flailing a camera around, and managed not to concuss anyone. Jenn and I did the Thriller dance, because why the hell not? And Karyn and I shared an entirely awkward moment that may or may not have been intimately related to the Spice Girls. Because that's what happens when children of the nineties drink half a dozen margaritas and put a million pounds of product in their hair.


3. The way strangers on the internet can come together to help other strangers.

The Blog U faculty- they are a fun loving bunch.

I'm not just talking about putting together an entire conference, for strangers, for free. Because that is astounding to say the least. I'm not just talking about two dozen women from across the country working tirelessly from a distance to create a spectacular, immersive experience for hundreds of other women (and one very brave dude). I'm talking about everybody, all the time.

I'm also not just talking about the half a dozen women who happily opened their doors to share AquaNet with me. Because no 80's prom is complete without it.

The day before Blog U started, one of the local commuters had to cancel her plans. So in the course of a day, she and I transferred her ticket to Old School/New School Mom. Some other bloggers helped me get her a bus ticket, and some of her friends back home- writers as well and contributors to her Stigma Fighters project, helped her find childcare so she could come to the conference.

Once there, people helped her with last minute things- including a bed to sleep in after the prom, and a ride back to the bus station in the morning. That lady deserved a break, and now she's better prepared to help Stigma Fighters thrive as an NFP. And that?

Old School/New School Mom, me, and my spectacular roomie- Woof Tweet Waah

That makes me cry happy, happy, happy tears.




...there was one other thing. A little thing. I can't help but get a little glow every time I think about it.

During the keynote panel about writing for others, HuffPo Parents put up examples on the big screen of what to do- what notes to aim for, what subjects to address- in order to get a successful post.

What's that on the big screen?

Do you see what her example is over there?

Who is that attractive blogger?

Yes! It's me!

I would say I didn't learn anything, because OBVIOUSLY I've got this whole thing figured out... but that's a lie. I learned tons. I learned so much, and I'm taking it all and putting it to good use.

Look out, world, I'm coming to take you by the horns.

I'm a Blog U graduate, hear me roar!