Not Pregnant

Guess what? Doctors are freakin' idiots.

As a very very very few of you know, I had a pregnancy scare. And by scare, I mean M and I are both unemployed and we have two nine month old babies. You think it's scary to maybe be pregnant when you're 18 and live at home? Think again!

I was having a few vague symptoms, and mentioned to M that I might need to see the doctor. I was having dizzy spells, my appetite was weird, and I STILL hadn't had a period. That's right, I haven't had a period since January of '09. I didn't think I was still nursing enough that it would forestall ovulating, and I was starting to worry that I'd had something go somehow wrong during the c-section. So, maybe I should see my doctor?

M panicked. Why? Let's run down those symptoms again... starting with "no period."

Panic, as you might know, is contagious. So as soon as M was freaking out that I might be pregnant, I started to flip out as well. Off to my internist!

Now I LOVE my PCP (that's Primary Care Practitioner, not violent hallucinogen). But she's not a lady-part doctor. When it comes to my sex organs, she doesn't know all the ins and outs (hehehehe). She did all the tests she could think to do, and this is what she came up with.

1. I wasn't producing enough prolactin to explain a lack of a period.
2. I didn't have a post-partum thyroid problem.
3. I probably wasn't pregnant, but my uterus was enlarged so I should go for it and see an OB/GYN.

...thanks, Doc.


Was I going to see the a doctor at the practice that delivered the girls? Hell no. They might have been excellent doctors for a fetus, but I always thought they were terrible doctors for adults. They were just too busy to have a real conversation with, or to see the same doctor EVER. A fetus doesn't care about that, and they all had specialties in delivering multiples, so that's why I went there during the pregnancy. But I sure wasn't going to deal with that sort of care for myself.

So I found a new OB/GYN. And, fancy this, he told me without even examining me what the hell was going on.

The birth control that the previous practice had given me was causing all of my symptoms. All of them. Had they warned me about any of it? No. All they'd said was, "Do you want the pill or the IUD?"

So, not pregnant.

Thank you thank you thank you thank you GOD not pregnant.

And screw you very much, lousy doctors at the multiple baby factory.

Which brings me to a point I'd very much like to make- women's health care options suck. Our health care structure is built around these specialties, so our internists don't know all about our particular insides, and our gynecologists specialize in removing other people or tumors from our bodies. But getting a doctor who can care for a whole lady? Who can give you a pap smear AND an echocardiogram? Where do I find me one of THOSE?