PBS Theology... (or what I've learned from children's television programming)

Disclaimer: This is a joke.  Please don't send me hate mail.

In the Beginning...

In the beginning, the world was formless and void.

Then there was Dog.

Dog

With one sound from Dog's mouth, Dog created the World in all its glory and perfection.  He created the sky and the earth, the clouds and the sea, and the all of the beasts of burden.  And He looked upon his creation, and He knew it was good.

But there was nobody to live in the World.  And Dog wanted someone to look after his World and husband it with care.

So Dog dug up some clay from the Holy Ground under the Great Tree, and He used this clay to create Duck, the First Friend.

But Duck was lonely.  So with Duck, Dog created a companion for Duck, and they called it Sheep, because Sheep followed Duck.  And Duck looked upon Sheep, and was happy.  And Dog looked upon Duck and Sheep, and he knew it was good.

Duck and Sheep were beloved above all other creatures in the World.

Duck and Sheep mingled with the other creatures in the world Dog had made.  These were unclean creatures.  These were heathen creatures that would usurp Dog's power and build the World to their own design.  They tricked Duck and Sheep, and Duck and Sheep began to build as though they believed themselves Dog.  So Dog forced them to live among the other creatures, and no longer protected them from confusion or distraction.

Duck- the First Friend

Dog is all powerful and all mighty.  One Word from Dog's mouth would un-make all of the World, so Dog only speaks through agents and signs.

But Dog performs feats of wonder beyond the scope of imagination- Dog is wherever Dog wants to be, because Dog is everywhere.  Always.  Omnipresent as He is omnipotent.  And omniscient.  The Voice of Dog can be heard ringing from nowhere and from everywhere, innocent and pure as the voice of children.  Dog knows all answers, answers all questions.  One must simply accept Dog and ask.

Dog dwells among the creatures of His World, ever watchful.  Ever speechless.  Ever ready to pass the judgment that would unmake his creations.  All creatures of the World wish only to appease Dog- to discern His great intentions, to aid him in accomplishing His desires.

When Dog is pleased, the wagging of His mighty tail can unmake the flimsy constructions of lesser creatures.  But Dog is benevolent and kind, and never angers at his wayward children.

Dog is good.  He is a good, good Dog.