Becoming SuperMommy: The Wit and Wisdom of My Husband (In Text Messages)

December 19, 2011

The Wit and Wisdom of My Husband (In Text Messages)

I married to this weirdo. The one on the right.

Today, I am writing from the waiting room of the MRI center. We've reached this point in our year again... every-so-many-monthly MRI and update with M's neuro-oncologist.

I much prefer thinking about this sort of M related stuff

In case you're not aware, in which case I'm surprised, M is recovering from a very malignant form of brain cancer.

A few times a year, and less and less frequently, M gets a bunch of pictures taken of his brain.

I hate these visits. I do a remarkably good job of not thinking about what might be going on in there, in a very physical sense, pretty much all the time. But while I spend an hour plus sitting in a waiting room, wondering what they might see... I'm kind of a wreck.

My dad used to be really amazing about talking me through these visits. They invariably took place at 6am, and as my parents live a time zone up, it was almost a reasonable hour there. I would call and talk to my dad while I waited and waited and waited. And then, invariably, we would meet with M's neurological team and hear all sorts of good news.

When M switched jobs, he switched MRI times as well. Now they come as close to the end of the work day as possible. And I've gotten better at not spending the hour or two that it takes desperately trying to distract myself by talking to another person.

And we got a laptop.

So because I love my husband, and because I know that everything is going to be fine, no matter what nightmare scenarios might be running around in my head, I'm going to share some personal details about the man in the cramped MRI tube.

My husband generally thinks that he's very funny.

And yes, I generally agree.

I keep over 50 text messages saved on my phone- almost all from M.

And here, for your amusement and other assorted emotions, are the occasional thoughts of my ridiculous husband. And just so you know, he's been calling me "Panda Bear" for pretty much as long as we've been involved. Yeah, I have a silly nickname for him, too. It's "Gorilla Bear," because those are two animals he reminds me of.

Here you are- my husband's text messages:

"Prof just drew a penis without knowing it."

"LovloveloveloveloveHELLOlovelovelove"

"AH! THE MOTHERLAND!"

"I have, just now, discovered that I have been wearing my underwear inside out all day." (sent at 4:36pm)

"I love you a whole bunch. Not half a bunch, not five eighths of a bunch. I love you a whole, entire bunch!"

"Don't forget the pretzels for the gas jets!"

"Yo P-Bear, can I get the address of your Doogie Howser?"

"You've been building a grubling. And that's hard, with all those finnicky parts."

"I am having a fantastic beard day."

"Damn, what a sweet trash can."

"Hands up! Hands up! Shake your little belly!"

"You didn't land on UIC, UIC landed on you!"