This being my second time down the pregnancy trail, I've learned a great deal about the power of selective memory.
That, and how drastically my own pregnancies can differ from those of other women.
This pregnancy, my SPD and my heartburn are MUCH better than last time around. But I am SO MUCH MORE TIRED! This time, I've had more friends go through pregnancy, and I've been up close and personal with a lot of other women dealing with the kind of crap that pregnant ladies have to go through.
Every pregnancy is different, even for a single person who gets pregnant on different occasions.
But there are some universal pregnancy facts- nay, warnings. There are things that, no matter what, you should never ever ever say or do to pregnant women. And here, for your enjoyment and in no particular order, are the worst of them.
|"You look great!"|
5. Do not smile knowingly while she complains about how miserable she is. If she is telling you that she is in pain, or that she is uncomfortable, or that she is unhappy, don't patronize her and tell her to enjoy herself. She knows that pregnancy is temporary. She also knows that she is NOT ENJOYING IT. That is precisely what she is telling you. If she tells you that she is having a bad time, SYMPATHIZE, tell her that when it's all over it will so worth it, and then move on. Don't act like you know better than she does how "precious" this time is. She knows. She also knows that her heartburn is peeling the enamel off of her teeth and that she has stretch marks that will forever keep her out of a bikini. She's an adult, not a kid who didn't get the flavor ice cream she wanted. Wipe that smirk off your face and tell her she looks great.
8. Do not criticize her parenting choices when it comes to the new baby. If she's having it at home, don't tell her that she's stupid. If she's planning to formula feed, don't tell her she's abusive. If she's planning on starting it in music classes when it's four months old, don't tell her that she's crazy. No matter how much you disagree with her, do not tell her that she is doing the whole parenting thing wrong. We all go into this blind. If she's trying to do anything genuinely nuts, she'll figure it out soon enough. And if not, you're just making things harder for her by criticizing her in advance. Lay off.
10. Do not ask her when she'll be getting pregnant again. Just let her get through this one, and when she's ready to talk about starting the whole magical show all over again, she'll let you know. If she wants to. Because once again, this is just not any of your business.
Now, me and all the other pregnant ladies can go crawl back under our rocks.