August 27, 2012

Future Blackmail Material

Once in a while, your kid does or says something, and other people laugh.

And once in a while, they are laughing at you.

It's nothing personal, really, it's just that... well...

You have been made ridiculous.  And it is your child who, in the course of making themselves ridiculous, made you ridiculous as well.

But once in a while, thanks to the miracles of modern technology, revenge can be yours.

Once in a while, you manage to get that moment where all the other parents are laughing at you on video.

Once in a while, you find yourself in possession of THE THING that will humiliate your child for the rest of her natural life.  That thing that you can pull out at her wedding, or her bat mitzvah, or for the first boy she brings home to meet the folks.  Once in a while you get leverage over your future sort-of-grown child.

And then you can laugh at yourself along with those other parents.  You laugh, because while you might be ridiculous now, marching through the crowd of parents giggling at your misfortune, some day...

Oh someday...

How sweet the revenge will be.


Thank you, Lincoln Park Zoo, for giving me this moment.

I will cherish it always, just before flinching as I remember cleaning off the poo from my ecstatic (and sopping wet) toddler's butt.

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