August 18, 2012

Two Months

My girls
Today, my little RH is two months old.

Two months ago, my family grew.  I became a mother of three, and a mother again.

Two months ago, my little girls became big sisters.

Meeting the new baby
Two months ago, my heart opened wide and I learned how much more I could love the children I already had, and how much love I still had left to give to a new little soul.

Two months ago, I fell head over heels with a tiny person who looked remarkably like my grandmother, who stared into my eyes as though they were the abyss into which all unanswered questions fall.

This is not the most exhausted I would be
Two months ago, I had no idea how utterly exhausted I would be.  I had forgotten everything about the kind of fatigue that comes from nursing a newborn, from simply being around a newborn.

Two months ago my family became a new family.  A family of five.

My family
I love my family.  I love my RH.  I love that she can spend all morning just watching her sisters bounce around, that she lets them play doll with her with an air of perplexed indifference.  I love that she smiles when she's falling asleep.  I love that as she grows she just seems to get snugglier.  I love that she looks like both DD and like SI, reminding me of all sorts of little miracles of their infancy that I seem to have forgotten.

One of these things is not like the others...
I love how much her sisters love her.  I love that on a daily basis, when I go to put her in her crib, or change her, or put her in her car seat, one of her sisters has already gone to do the same for their dolls.  I love that, whenever she's out of sight for a moment, they want to know where she is.  I even love that when DD and SI run from the room, out of nowhere I hear RH start to whine- missing the constant entertainment of her big sisters.

They insist on putting imaginary diapers in the real diaper bin.
And apparently, a diaper changer is best with company.
I love this baby.

I love my family.

I love my life.

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