|Getting this picture involved thwacking|
myself in the head with a shoe. True story.
Let me explain why I did this. When the girls were one year old, we attempted to get their photos taken at a photo studio. I scheduled it for mid-morning, when they were well rested, and even fed, and probably not likely to get grouchy.
We waited at the photo studio as the family before us went long.
And longer. And longer. And before long, it was past the girls' nap time, they were screaming for food, and then eventually passed out on my husband's lap.
Which meant that I had to wake them up, ten minutes into a much needed nap, to get them photographed.
SI barely stayed awake through the pictures.
And they were awful. How bad? Not one picture of SI smiling, only one of DD smiling, and that picture included SI slumped to the side, eyes half closed.
They looked like the worlds grouchiest, most exhausted babies.
Despite that, I bought some of the photos. I couldn't bear to have spent THAT MUCH TIME getting pictures taken and then not use any of them. Several ended up on our ironic family photo wall.
They are seriously bad.
So, M and I vowed never to go to a photo studio again. So expensive. So frustrating. So pointless.
I am beginning to rethink that vow.
Now, I decided to photograph my children in mid-morning, again because they tend to be awake and cheerful and well fed, but also for the wonderful natural light.
And then I learned the Ten Things That Will Ruin a Family Photo.
1) The backdrop.
I was planning on using this huge white tablecloth- the only tablecloth I have that covers the table with all the leaves in it. Unfortunately, I accidentally put that tablecloth in my mother's "Passover Supply Box" after our epic dining room rearrangement seder project. So no nice big white cloth. So what to use instead?
I went with the lavender tablecloth. Not as good a choice, as it has stains on it. I would have to carefully arrange the children so that they hid the spots. Either that, or pirate and learn to use photoshop. Also, the tablecloth is *barely* wide enough to get all three children properly positioned... so... additional level of difficulty.
Without fail, at least one child is going to have a visible wound. Probably on their face.
|DD started the day by slipping and banging her chin on her toy box.|
Frankly, it was a miracle she didn't bite off her tongue.
3) The word "Smile"
This is not "smiling," I tried vainly to explain. Look at mommy- see the teeth? Smile with teeth! Smile with your mouth open! ...crap.
Which brings us to...
4) The word "Cheese"
Don't even try it...
5) Lack of props
How do they get small babies to stay sort of upright for photos?
At any given moment, at least one child will be utterly impossible to capture. At many given moments, it will be all of them.
She has an arsenal of photo destroying techniques...
|The "escape artist"|
|The "I'm a Frog"|
|The "Face Eater"|
SI has a similar yet separate array of techniques for ruining a photo.
|The "West Side"|
|The "Total Eclipse of the Sister"|
For a baby, capable of very little in the way of intentional movement, she sure can make things difficult.
|The "Collapsing Baby"|
|The "Too Cool for This Crap"|
|The "Dropped my iPhone"|
Yes, the ones you actually have. Don't use them. "Look at the puppet!" Crap. Again.
8) The Light
Your morning light will fade. You will be forced to compensate.
|And they will all smile in the pictures that are unsalvageable for light-related reasons.|
9) Weather Conditions
This is a particularly big deal if, like my brood, you have curly hair. As the sun moved higher (and away from our east facing windows), the humidity picked up as well.
|It's not DD's fault that her hair takes more space than her baby sister.|
10) The Photographer
Let's face it. I am not very good at this.
Despite all of that, I still managed a decent photo or two.
Next time, it's back to the photo studio. I just don't have the patience for this kind of disaster.