A Day in the Life of Yours Truly

You're about to witness this... and more!

I realized that I haven't done a Day in the Life post in... years!  Can you believe I've been a parent long enough that "years" can actual describe a span of time within my parenthood experience?

Anyway... here you go- from dawn until well after dusk, yesterday.  So now you will know all about the insanity in which I live.

I slept late.  Perhaps this was because I hate mornings, or perhaps this was because the previous day's fast had given me a raging migraine, which I had treated with ample quantities of codeine before bed.  In either case, the moment M left for work, all three children woke up simultaneously.  It was like magic.  I crammed a marzipan banana into my face (if it's candy that LOOKS like fruit, it's pretty much fruit, right?) and went off to collect my children from their beds.

As RH seemed content to look at her mobile (based on her happy coos over the monitor), I started with the big girls.

RH was happy all right.  She watched her big sisters trash her room while I made their breakfast- green eggs.

While the girls *allegedly* ate their eggs, I made their lunches for school.  RH let me know that she was done cooperating, and it was time for her to eat too.

I took her into the living room to feed her, while the girls *allegedly* ate their eggs.  DD came into the room, and announced that she had finished.  When I told her to bring me her empty plate, she returned to her chair to finish her meal.  SI then came running, insisting that she had finished her meal.  Smelling the freshest bullshit, I sent her back to finish her eggs, warning her that little girls who don't eat breakfast don't get to go to school.  I finished feeding RH.

Surprise, surprise, SI had NOT eaten her eggs.  Thereafter followed a bout of shouting and threats not to take her to school, while DD got cleaned up (having finished her delicious eggs like a rock star) and picked out her clothes.  SI got dressed in a hectic rush, and as per usual, we didn't get out of the houes until the children were already supposed to be at school.  Which SI got to go to anyway.  Because I'm a softie.

The girls' school is near the synagogue, so I took the opportunity to stop in and learn about the Sukkot happenings this year.  My children, as usual, went running into their preschool classroom and didn't look back at me once.  I enjoy this every bit as much as I thought I would.

In her typical fashion, RH spent the time in the car spitting up stuff that looked like curdled cheese.  First order of business when we got home, a change of clothes for her.

My first form of sustenance after my marzipan banana.  And, I believe, a full third of all the liquid I imbibed during this day.  I'm terrible at adulthood.  While I drank my juice, I pounded out a few hundred words about Mitt Romney.

After my daily blogging-for-pay, I fed the baby again.  I've been in the process of putting the nursery together for the last month, and it's finally getting close to done.  Only two things left, and then you'll even get a blog post about them!  At any rate, this is probably my new favorite spot in the house.

RH nursed herself to sleep, and I put her in her crib to enjoy the rarest of mommy pleasures...

That's right, bitches.  I got to take a SHOWER.  What you may not know about mothering preschoolers is, if you wish to take a shower while they are home and awake, you are actually going to perform "The Shower Show."  I do not like performing The Shower Show.  Too many questions asked of the performer.  After my shower, I changed shirts (accidentally dropped the old one in what appeared to be a small puddle of toddler urine- oops) and then did laundry.  For a whole hour.

My first *real* food of the day.  Breakfast links and raisin bread.  I'm counting it as a meal.

While eating, I read some blog posts.

After reading about all sorts of sad and happy things and scarfing down my "meal," I woke up RH, put her back in her car seat, and went to collect her sisters.

They spent the entire drive home telling me about a boy in their class.  That happened fast.  After getting home, I put away clean diapers, and SI pooped in the potty!  She got a neminem!

It being snack time, DD had an epic meltdown, caused by my insistence that she put RH's weeble-wobbles back in their drawer.  She hid in the corner behind the glider clutching them to her chest and weeping long enough for me to collect the camera from the bathroom, laugh at her uproariously, and snap this picture.  For our snack, we had Cheerios on the couch, while watching cartoons.

Well, SI and DD had Cheerios, anyway.

During the cartoons, I took care of a pointy little problem.

RH fell asleep, so I put on something else, set her in her swing...

And reaped my reward.

...and then I did more laundry.

The girls played dressups with my shoes, and colored on some paper while I folded and whatnot...

...and then RH woke up.  So we cleaned the room for a dance party!

DANCE PARTY!

Then I took some phone calls...

...lots of phone calls.  SI's speech therapist, LifeSouce, the receptionist at my doctor's office, the girls' pediatrician confirming an appointment, several junk calls, a pollster, and a neighbor.

After that, it was tummy time.  RH almost rolled over!  She was SO CLOSE!

Then we Skyped with Grandma.  And RH ate some more.  And DD and SI wreaked havoc in the living room

But then DD peed on the floor, so... you know... not her best moment.

I did dishes and made dinner for the girls while they played in RH's room.  That is to say, while they completely and utterly trashed RH's room with a combination of "Baseball" and "Five Little Monkeys," which they learned in school.

Dinner!

After dinner, the girls trashed the living room.

...while RH ate again.

A Cease Fire rally went by right down our street, which was a source of much fascination.

And then it was bedtime!  I didn't take a lot of pictures of this, as I didn't want to add any more excitement to the routine than was necessary.  But we read "The Three Kings" and "The Little Fur Family."  And then my littles crawled into their beds, and passed the eff out.

Then I ate some fudge.  I felt I'd earned it.

...and then I made a hotdish for dinner.  Because all I'd eaten had been breakfast links and raisin bread and a s'more and a marzipan banana, and I was too tired to bother cooking something complicated.  Plus, no clue when M would come home.  He was working up to a deadline, and has been putting in tons of overtime.

While dinner cooked, I put RH in her pajamas...

...and then both of us ate.

...and I caught up on some Words With Friends.

...and had some more fudge.

Joy of joys, my husband returned!  Just as he managed to leave the house the moment the children gained consciousness for the day, he managed to arrive mere moments after I had assured myself that they were all asleep.  How does he do that?

We watched some Daily Show...

I sorted out gifts arriving for the impending THIRD BIRTHDAY...

We learned some sad news that M had been following religiously...

And then we got ready to go to bed.

My exhausted husband...

We exhausted parents...

Let's do it again tomorrow.