|Stolen moments on a special day|
|It was as crazy as I look.|
There's a reason you don't actually want to have your bachelorette party the night before your wedding.
It was the manager of one of the hotel where we had a block of rooms, and he was calling to tell me that he was going to charge me for every single one that hadn't been rented.
It was going to be $700.
Screaming for forty minutes on the phone with that hotel manager, and his wife, and a few other people, kept me from vomiting just a little bit longer. As my oldest and dearest friends snuck past my bedroom to find some coffee or toast while they waited for the day's insanity to commence, I vomited spectacularly.
|The meal that nearly killed a groomsman...|
The centerpieces were already made, but still in a few pieces. There were balloons- GIANT balloons- to be filled, lanterns to be strung, chocolates to be strewn around, linens to be steamed.
I wandered in a daze in and out of the kitchen, where Aunt Genocide was construction a spectacle of a cake, the likes of which may have never been seen before or since. Aside from the epic quantities of cake in the concoction for display, there were also half a dozen sheet cakes of the same. Batches and batches and batches of chocolate butter cream frosting, hundreds of gum paste forget-me-nots, one of my favorite flowers. And although we had not once discussed what would top the cake, hand dipped chocolate covered strawberries- on tuxedo dipped with a little bow tie, one in white, with a stem like a veil, a gum paste forget-me-not affixed like a bouquet.
|Aunt Green watching Aunt Genocide make some magic|
Yeah, that was when that decision was made.
And despite my protestations, mascara was applied. And a giant gloop of it fell into my eye.
As I cried and whimpered and sobbed and wept and begged for somebody to help me before I was covered in mascara tears and blind forever, my bridesmaids laughed their asses of at me.
And then I got married.
|I wasn't covered in mascara...|
|We said "I do..."|
|We became husband and wife...|
|We ate like kings...|
|We celebrated with our best friends...|
|We ran off into the night...|
|And we lived happily ever after.|
These have been the best five years of my life.