May 18, 2013

Our Last Family

Me and M at my friend's wedding
Last night, a dear friend's brother lost his battle with cancer.

This is tragic under any circumstances. But for the SuperMommy family, it hits very close to home.

One year ago, Kayvon experienced a resurgence of his brain cancer. It had been almost twenty years.

After six months, he decided to end his treatments. And now he is gone.

I only ever met him at my friend's wedding, barely a year after M got his own diagnosis. I certainly didn't get to know Kayvon. But I am grieving for his loss.

Cancer turns you into a sort of family.

When you hear that somebody has, or has beaten cancer, there is a closeness. An understanding. I know what you're going through. At least a little.

When you find they have the same family of cancer, the closeness closes in a little. There is an intense sisterhood among survivors of breast cancer- any breast cancer. Because so much of an experience has been shared.

Each detail brings you closer together. Each little connected part of your story.

Kayvon survived his brain cancer for almost twenty years. He didn't have the same cancer that M did, he didn't have the same life circumstances. But part of them are the same, members of the same family. They are part of a very small club, the survivors of brain cancer.

Only now, that family has lost another member. And everyone living with and beating their disease has lost something as well.

I am so sorry for my friend, for her other brothers, for everyone that knew Kayvon.

And I am terrified of the future.

And I am also grateful. Grateful to know that there might be twenty years. That if M has the same time that Kayvon got, his youngest child will be nearly an adult if his story shares that ending.

And I still am nearly drowning in grief at the thought of it.

Everyone gets a life. I hope that Kayvon's was defined by his actions, by his character and his love and the people who knew him.

I hope we are all so lucky.



In loving memory:
Reesa Brown
Kayvon Safavi





If you have any names and obituaries you would like remembered, please name them in the comments below, and I will add them to the list.

5 comments:

  1. Grief like that is twofold. It mingles sadness for others with that anticipatory grief for ourselves, all together in one knot of pain. And there is nothing to do but let ourselves grieve.

    (I came today from Honest Mom.)

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  2. I recently just lost a family member to lung cancer - he never smoked a day in his life. It's a very sad tale like this one and I hope that the family finds peace over time.

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  3. I'm so sorry for your loss.

    I got chills reading about how this relates to your family.

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  4. Dr Fredda Branyon and I wishes you and your family peace and strength. Always remember this "God gives his toughest battles on his toughest soldiers". Thanks and have a nice day!

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