Today I have Four Year Olds

The birthday girls- DD in dots, SI in signs

It's been quite a week.

Last Monday, I took Poppa to a baseball game for his birthday. We watched the Pirates clinch the post-season, and it was AMAZING.

Me n' Poppa

Then LaLa came over for another birthday, and to celebrate my big girls' big day a few days early.

Another Birthday!

And then Grandma and Grandpa came to town for the party. A Care Bears party, as requested. I managed to dig up Care Bear hats and plates.

Little girls and parties are awesome.

I'd been slowly collecting lots of vintage Care Bears on ebay for months. So instead of gift bags, I had the kids do a rainbow treasure hunt.

Everyone got a different color

...and followed their streamer to find their treasure!

And the treasure? Big stuffed bears for everyone.

We even had a Birthday Care Bear Parade!

I think they were a hit.

Everyone loved their bears. :)

Also, as per request, we had "Rainbow cake with rainbows on it and Care Bears and Wish Bear and Bedtime Bear and TWO rainbow roses!"

The recipe:

That cake took me an entire freakin' day of "baking" with two nearly-four-year-olds and a basically-a-toddler. But in the end?

Worth it.

The next day M and I put together their present.

Yeah, a bunk bed. And now we're working on rearranging RH's room so that all three girls will share the green room.

And then yesterday was the girls' party at school with cupcakes. And also the present extravaganza with Grandmommy and Poppa at home. And then I barely managed to keep my eyes open to watch the Pirates CRUSH the Reds in their first post-season game they've won since the last year Poppa and I sort of went to a ball game together (we took my friend JS), and I passed out on top of the covers in all my clothes.

Seriously, when I woke up in the morning M was relieved. He'd woken up a few times in the night to make sure I was still breathing. My sweet husband.

And I really can't wrap my head around the idea that my children are four years old. And suddenly, my relationship with them has changed. I can't explain how it happened, but something yesterday- on their birthday- fundamentally changed me.

Maybe it was standing in their room while they napped. NAPPED. At the same time. At four years old. I looked at their faces, SI's pale eyelids, DD still limbs, flopped gracefully over her stuffed dragon...

I am so grateful for this time. They are everything I ever wanted. Everything. And when I look at their faces, I can still see the babies that slept on me in the rocking chair in the dark hours of the night as I sang lullaby after lullaby.

I see them, erupted into these... children.

They were flower girls a month ago- did I mention that?

Children that I suddenly trust more.

So much more that I am ashamed with myself for not seeing how big they are, how mature they are, how competent they are, sooner.

This morning I talked with the director at preschool about splitting them up. Sitting in their classroom and watching them interact with the other little kids, I saw that maybe it's not just me holding onto their littleness, maybe it's them. Maybe we're all holding onto what was comfortable, what we'd come to know.

But what we have now is a family full of growing children. A toddler who might not toddle but can practically have a conversation.

And sometimes supporting them means pushing them a little outside their comfort zone.

...

Speaking of being pushed outside of my comfort zone, today is the day that the first Blogger Idol challenge goes live at noon. The first challenge was... writing your own eulogy.

If you're wondering why this post wasn't funny, I used up all my humor energy writing that one. So go read it for a few belly laughs!

And hey- you can play along!

So read my eulogy! And vote for me! YOUR VOTES MATTER. If you don't vote, I don't get to win- AND I WANT TO WIN!!!!

So read 'em! And vote! AND VOTE FOR ME!!!!