The is how every episode of The Powerpuff Girls begins.
I'm a huge fan of the show. When it came out, I was already "too old" for cartoons, but thanks to shows like South Park, cartoons were edgier, more interesting, and frankly you could get away with watching them as still see yourself as cool.
I loved the Powerpuff Girls. And I love being able to share them with my kids. Yes, they fall prey to a few of the classic problems that programming for (mostly) little girls share- no mom, for one thing- but the show is so up front with its blatantly feminist agenda, how could I help myself?
In one of my favorite episodes, "Members Only," the girls try to join the Association of World Super Men, and are told, "Shouldn't you be home, learning to be mommies?"
And then when a big, bad, macho jerk form outer space shows up and starts beating up the Super Men, the girls save the day.
I love that. And when I discovered the Powerpuff Girls were available on Netflix? Let's just say it didn't take long for my girls to get WAY more obsessed than I ever was.
So when we started talking Halloween costumes, they made up their mind pretty quick.
And thus, the Powerpuff Girls were born!
These were, without a doubt, some of the easiest costumes I've ever made in my life. I assumed it would be cold on Halloween, this is the midwest after all, so I made them out of microfleece. I added sleeves, because COLD HALLOWEEN is a thing, and I hot glued the eyes to ridiculously cheap sunglasses. I bought a pack of kids sunglasses party favors for a buck, and popped out the lenses. Easy peasy, lemon squeezy!
All that was left was a few accessories. A giant bow and barrette for Blossom (DD), a cheap "flapper" wig for Buttercup (SI), and pigtails for Bubbles (RH).
"So if you're the powerpuff girls, what should Mommy and Daddy be?" I asked.
"Daddy NEEDS to be Professor Utonium!" They said.
Easily done. A lab coat and a bottle of Chemical X later...
"So what about Mommy?"
At first, the girls wanted me to be Mojo Jojo. This made perfect sense to me, as he's kind of THE iconic Powerpuff Girls villain. But no, RH's favorite episode features a villain so sinister, so evil, so scary, so horribly vile that even the utterance of his name strikes fear into the hearts of men. He's known only as HIM, so that's what the kids asked for.
So... who is HIM?
Huffington Post put this best once upon a time, but I'll give you a brief explanation.
HIM is a gender queer devil character in a Santa suit, lobster claws, and kinky boots, who possesses a variety of superpowers and probably could destroy the Powerpuff Girls if he really wanted to.
When the girls asked me to dress up as this particular character, I hesitated. What WOULD the neighbors think? I'm built more like a short, hairy ape, so Mojo Jojo, while being a more complicated costume, certainly had a lot of appeal. But the girls insisted. So...
Without a doubt, that is the most makeup I've ever worn in my life. And I used to perform onstage on a regular basis. At first I was afraid that if I did the makeup, RH would freak out when she saw me. So I made sure to do all the makeup- from the black spray-on hair dye to the ridiculous eyebrows, with an audience.
They were less than helpful.
But I didn't stop there with my costuming insanity. Oh no! I was determined to out-do the Justice League this year. I only home someday I stop doing that to myself. One of these days the kids will want a costume that is just plain beyond me. But since they made it so easy this year, I used Aunt Genocide's suggestion for the trick or treat bags, and kind of one-upped by costume game.
|and Everything Nice|
Despite having warm, snuggly costumes (and TWO pairs of stockings each, plus undershirts, plus boots instead of their Mary Janes...), the weather was more than the Powerpuff Girls could handle. Half an hour into our trick or treating, it began to hail.
And the wind got so bad we were all being pelted horizontally by nearly white-out hail the size of raisins. All across our neighborhood, trees were uprooted, electrical lines fell, and trick or treaters headed for shelter.
My poor kids, they'd never seen hail before. Let alone been stuck outside in the nastiest, windiest downpouring of the stuff I'd ever seen. They huddled under the cloak I'd worn instead of a coat (I thought it was more HIM's style), and we shuffled to an underpass to wait for M- um, the Professor, to bring us the car.
Fortunately, the candy was plentiful and survived the ordeal. With bellies full of pizza and the promise they could keep on their costumes as nightgowns (yay fleece!), the children dubbed it the Best Halloween Ever.
So from my family to yours, Happy Halloween!