The Best Gift You Can Give Your Children

 

Two years ago today, I married the man of my dreams.

Well, not quite. I think the man of my dreams was names Brett something or other, and I had the most painful crush on him at summer camp after fourth grade. But I married the man I loved- my best friend and soul mate. Even if we didn't ever slow-dance to Boyz II Men on the beach.

As I've already said, the best parenting advice I ever got was from my college adviser. She said that the best thing I could do for my babies was to have a good relationship with their father. So here we are, parenting together and celebrating another year over and another beginning in our lives together.

We aren't exactly doing much to celebrate today, after all, we're busy people with Important Things to do, but we spent the bulk of the day out of the house, away from our kids.

Which leads me to a General Rule of Parenting. Find a good babysitter. Not just a grandparent or aunt, because your relationship with that person goes beyond babysitting. No, find a babysitter. Somebody you like and trust who will do a good job taking care of your kids YOUR way while you get away. Somebody who when you come back again you don't have to make small talk or promise to do something WITH them soon- let's face it, we don't have time or energy for all those social engagements. Find a babysitter who you pay to give you guilt free time off.

That money? That's guilt money. Free babysitters cost a lot more than cash in the guilt department. It's all well and good when you're strapped for cash and you need a sitter, but a guilt-free sitter will genuinely make your life happier.

All we did today was go to brunch and catch a matinee- not even the one we had planned to see. But it was like a second honeymoon. I even wore a pair of high heels.

So it's right back to our daily grind- babies babies babies!- but it's all a little more romantic today. Because we have a little secret from our girls, and that secret is that we are crazy in love.

We're taking our first real family vacation this week. We're heading off to a secluded cabin in the woods with the girls for nearly two weeks. The girls will play in a body of fresh water, play in the grass, and probably taste a few completely new foods. And a vacation where you still have a full time job- being a parent- is hardly a vacation in the spirit of the word. But today... today we had our break.

 Is marriage hard? Yeah. And having kids does make it harder. But as my adviser rightly said, maintaining a good one is the best thing you can do for your kids.