End of the Month Controversy: Nursing In Public

Feeding the baby

When my twins were infants, I didn't go out much.  Feeding them outside the home was just too much work.  Tandem nursing requires a fair amount of space, it's anything but inconspicuous, and then there was the added complication that we were also supplementing with a bottle.  And pumping.

Preemies take a little extra work, sometimes.

Each feeding involved first changing two diapers, then latching on two babies, then nursing two babies, then bottle feeding two babies who were too tired out to finish a meal, and then pumping both breasts.

So we stayed at home.

Now, we have one baby, and she's a fine nurser*.  So I get to leave the house whenever two toddler, time, and other assorted demands allow.  Or if it's otherwise required.  And wherever I go, my breasts come with me... so I can feed the baby any time, any place.

The thing is, there are a lot of people in this country who are really opposed to public nursing.  They think that breast feeding is weird, obscene, or just plain gross.  They don't want to be exposed to it.  They don't want their children exposed to it.

This is a very American hangup.

This is not done discreetly

In the United States, there is the sense that skin means only one thing- sex.  If you see a lot of skin, what you're seeing is some sort of invitation or reminder for sex.  And on top of all that, we tend to view sex as a fundamentally bad thing.  Bad, but acceptable.

So exposed skin being used for a non-sex purpose must still be sexual, and must be somehow perverse. It's a deviation from the unspoken rule that skin should only be exposed when hunting for sex or going to the beach.

If you're nursing in public, you are inviting sex while holding a baby.  And that's a pretty mixed message, isn't it?

Now, I don't believe a word of that, personally.  I think that the human body is neither shameful nor entirely sexual.  I believe that it has a million and one uses, a few of which are sexual, and that sex is awesome.  I think that breastfeeding is entirely natural (as is sex), that it is utterly banal, and that there is nothing scandalous or offensive in feeding a hungry baby using the organs that nature provided you for doing so.

Fact is, breasts make milk.

Fact is, baby mammals survive on milk.

Fact is, human beings are mammals.

One of many places I'm guilty of nursing in public

I make every effort to be discreet when it comes to showing a lot of breast while nursing in public, but I make no effort to hide what I'm doing.  I don't use a nursing cover that completely obscures the baby from view, I like to be able to see my baby when she's nursing.  That way I know if she's uncomfortable, if she's getting ready to drop a latch, or if she's falling asleep.  And I like to be able to look her in the eye.  That eye contact while nursing is positively lovely.

And of course, she likes looking at the world around her.

I've been lucky.  The only times I've been even glared at were when I was nursing the baby in the parked car, which I have had to do now on three occasions... each of which involved very unhappy spectators... particularly odd seeing as how technically, the interior of your car IS private- not a public space.  And, also notable, the only negative responses have been from men.

I'm going to keep feeding the baby when she's hungry, regardless of the place.  But we as a culture need to reevaluate why we object to seeing breasts at all.

Breasts are not sexual organs, they're here to feed babies.

American public- please stop freaking out.  It's only baby food.




*Yes, we are through our nursing hell.  She still latches weirdly on the right side about half the time, but for the most part... she's an eating angel.  Thank you all so much for your support!