September 13, 2012

Daddy's Bottom

Daddy at the beach
To small children, naming body parts is confusing.

This is largely the fault of the responsible adults in their lives.  "This is your elbow," I would say when they were first learning, touching it lovingly.  "This is your nose." I would say, and make a "beep!" sound as I pushed on it.  "This is your hair!  This your foot!  This little piggy..."

And so on.

Daddy and RH

With a vague gesture, I point to their "underwear area" and say, "That is your vagina!"

So it's no wonder that my children, like a great many little girls, get confused about the difference between "bottom" and "vagina."

I know I'm not alone in this.  I know that lots of parents are hesitant to get them very familiar with the differences.  After all, they'll figure it out, right?

And in the meantime, there are little... incidents.  Misuses.  You know, toddler talk that would horrify an adult, but you take in stride as though nothing out of the ordinary has been said.

Like, "I pooed out of my 'agina!"

Dear God, I hope not.

And again, the confusion goes the other way.

Daddy and his big girls
Being a family with only one male member (tee hee hee), the girls don't get many opportunities to be reminded that, yes, boys and girls are different.  Yes, boys and girls have different parts.

But of course, they insist on being in the bathroom with Daddy,

And occasionally, they won't leave him alone when he changes his clothes.  Which any parent of a small baby finds themselves doing with shocking regularity.

Which is why, as I entered my bedroom this past Sunday, I was greeted by a very concerned SI.  She was perplexed and somewhat alarmed.  There was a belt dangling over the end of the bed, and SI caused it to sort of flop around a little bit as she exclaimed to me- "Daddy have a bouncy thing on his bottom!"

Thanks, SI.

I hadn't noticed.

All three of my munchkins, sporting Paul Frank
Of course, the pendulum (ha ha ha) swings both ways.  A few days ago, my daughters followed me into the bathroom, as usual.  And DD informed me, "YOU don't have a peen-it.  DADDY have a peen-it.  You have a 'agina!"

"...yes, yes that's true."

"We don't have a peen-it.  Only Daddy have a peen-it.  I have a 'agina!  I gonna get bigger and bigger, and then have a BIG 'agina just like YOU!"

Maybe we'll revisit this conversation then.  In the meantime, I think I'll just crawl under a rock.


  1. HILARIOUS!! At least you are open about body parts with your kids. Many parent are not. Good for you!

  2. Potty humor is the best.
    This made me laugh really hard.
    We say vulva and penis, and our little man has said while I'm changing the baby's diaper MAMA, LOOK! A BUTT! AND ANOTHER BUTT! LITTLE!

    ..... lol.

  3. You're just lucky your parents didn't have a blog 25 years ago.



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