November 20, 2013

The Becoming SuperMommy Holiday Gift Guide

Best. Presents. Ever.
In the spirit of today's Blogger Idol post, I would like to bring you the Becoming SuperMommy Holiday Gift Guide.

1. For the mom-or-dad on-the-go in your life, there is nothing better than a present that lets them know that you understand the challenges of their lives. That's why the best give you can possibly give is the Kleenex Tube, for the car! I mean, let's face it. This thing is amazing. And considering the time of year, I think we can all agree... everybody seriously wants one of these.

2. Do you have a toddler? Buying gifts for a toddler can be challenging. They have few discernible interests, and particularly if they're not your first kid, they already have everything they need. That's why there really is only one thing to get the toddler in your life: a custom built, formed plastic, heavily detailed complete set of Bat Armor, with cape.

I'm an expert in toddlers, and I can tell you- THEY LOVE BATMAN.

3. For the man in your life. As you already know, there is only one gift to give the man who has it all- and that is a necktie. But what if, like me, the man in your life is somewhat inept, uncoordinated, and absent minded? Well, they make a necktie for him, too! I give you, the necktie printed with instructions on how to tie a necktie.

Seriously- get it here.
Yes, you can also get it for the man in your life's father.

You're welcome.

4. If you're like me, you have kids who have teachers. And more and more frequently, you are expected to give gifts to these teachers as well. And I'm not talking about an apple and a tin of cookies- I'm talking something nice. So what do you get for the teachers you hardly know but entrust with the care and education of your children, day after day?

The answer is clear. A sensory deprivation tank.

Thanks, Wikipedia!
After spending all their time, every day, surrounded not only by your screaming monsters, but another two dozen screaming monsters, all that any person wants is some peace and quiet. And there is nothing more peaceful or quiet than total sensory deprivation.

While this is an outrageously expensive gift, you can rest assured that you need only ever buy one. Simply deliver it with a note that explains that ownership of the tank changes each year. And then watch your kid's teacher scramble to change their class each year, ensuring that your child has the one-on-one attention of a teacher who truly knows them after spending five years altering their own areas of expertise in order to ensure that they can find true peace and quiet for a few minutes a day.

5. Last but not least, your children. What do they want?

That's right- there's nothing better than a cardboard box.

Best part? You go ahead and order yourself anything you want online. The gift for your kid is free with purchase. ;)

Happy shopping, everyone!

Oh- AND VOTE FOR ME!!!!!!!

And can I add- THANK YOU to the anonymous gif creators who made today's Blogger Idol post possible. If I could find you, I'd give you a high five.

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