July 29, 2011

5 Awesome Things About Being Pregnant (That Sometimes Makes Up For All The Other Stuff)

Today's guest blogger!
I'm very happy to have another guest blogger today!  My friend Jenni, who's just about ready to pop out a baby.  Really, she might be in labor by the time this posts.  She's no newcomer to motherhood but this is her first pregnancy, and (like yours truly) she hasn't had the best of all times with a wee one inside her.  I remember one fateful afternoon that she climbed up to my third floor walk up in all of her pregnant glory... with her leg in a cast.  Yup, pregnant, six year old in tow, and broken foot.  And yet, you never hear her stop laughing.  So without further ado, Jenni, on the perks of pregnancy.

5 Awesome Things About Being Pregnant
(That Sometimes Makes Up For All The Other Stuff)

1. You get to wear whatever you want.
Seriously, I thought finding maternity clothes would be a chore, if not horrible.  This is my first baby that came from my own body, so the only reference I really had for maternity clothes were the awesome tents that pregnant women got saddled with twenty years ago.  Other than that, the only pregnant people I knew were either on television or are talented seamstresses that could make their own clothing.  Me?  Not so much.  I don't have the money for haute couture maternity clothes and I don't even think I've ever sewn on a button that didn't fall off a week later. 
Jenny and her family
 Instead, I got to go to the store with my mom and try on everything in the world (even all those things you'd never think to try on if you weren't pregnant).  As I was going through all these clothes, it occurred to me:  pregnant = you don't have to suck it in!  You think you have rhino legs in those shorts?  Too damn bad, I'm pregnant!! I say as long as it's the right size and you like it, run with it.  You only have nine months.
2. You can get out of doing things.
Imagine, you're just about to leave work and that person at work you have to pretend you like corners you.  “We're going out for my birthday today tonight and I would just loooooove it if you came” (insert any funny/annoying/entirely too familiar voice you would like for this sentence).  You no longer have to suffer through karaoke with your faux work buddies or get dragged to family dinners when you just want to sleep.  Just blame the baby!  Admittedly, I haven't used this excuse, but my family, friends, and co-workers aren't really that bad.  If I had to, I'd totally jump on this thing.
On a different level, don't you just hate it when you find that great spot on the couch and then you have to get up because you forgot something in the kitchen?  No more worries for you!  You can just ask someone to get it for you (not only will they willingly get things with a smile, but they even forgive the insane forgetfulness!)
3. The orgasms are fantastic!
Okay, okay, I'll give it to you...sex during pregnancy (especially when you're pretty far along) is fairly awkward at best and fairly painful at worst.  If you actually have a sex drive during pregnancy, the orgasms all but make up for the effort involved.  I know the medical reasoning for the mind-blowing-ness of it all, but it's not really important.  All I can say is whether it's alone or with a friend, get it while the gettin's good.
4. People are extra nice to you.
When you're visually pregnant (as opposed to when you just look chunky and flu-like), everyone smiles at you.  Somehow, everyone loves a pregnant lady.  Sometimes when you feel like you're about to die if you don't get this alien thing out of your belly soon, these random smiles are kind of nice...as long as you don't touch me.  Touch the belly without permission and retract a bloody stump where your hand used to be.  Moving along to our next subject....
5. You can be murderously psychotic and/or depressingly fragile and *gasp* people let you get away with it.
At times, you are wholly nurturing and caring of others during your time of gestation.  Other times, you may sob over your step-daughter's bus being 15 minutes late from school (don't judge me).  Then there are those times when the sight of a dirty hand towel left on the counter makes you want to put your fist through the windshield of the car to grab the person who left it there.  Now, I was forewarned in my first trimester, pregnancy is not an excuse for murder, but at least now when you're going batty, people just allow your head to spin and if they're smart, they take out of the Linda Blair pea soup radius.

6. I almost forgot to mention....
The end result of a pregnancy isn't so bad either.  Any time it gets hard or you get down, just remember what my mom always told me, “You get one heck of a door prize.”


  1. lol! That was great! I had a difficult road of continuous vomiting most of both of my pregnancies, lost 10 pounds in both at first instead of gaining at all...I would still do it again!

    Thanks for the laugh this morning!


  2. great to find you on here from another super mummy in the making writer and artist! xxxx



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