Salted Chocolate Fake Bacon (and an Interview!)

This.

As I entered the home stretch ("last ten weeks") of this pregnancy, I started experiencing an odd phenomena.

Pregnancy food cravings.  Straight out of some wacky sitcom.

These are not like first trimester aversions, this is an all out GIVE ME ALL THE CALORIES kind of obsession.

I'm talking popsicles and goat cheese for lunch.  I'm talking scarfing down a pound and a half of grapes while chugging my kids' Strawberry Quick.  I'm talking, "Honey, I know it's two in the morning but can you run to the store for a watermelon and salted chocolate caramels?"  My gall bladder isn't pleased.

I've come up with a few recurring food themes that I eat quite a bit, much to the chagrin of my pseudo-doula and my husband.  My pseudo-doula (long story) is mortified at how little *real* nutrition I manage to ingest, while M is simply grossed out by me literally chugging down a gigantic root beer float make with dark dark dark dark dark chocolate sorbet instead of vanilla ice cream.

But I have come up with one dish that, while it sends M scurrying for the hills, doesn't bother my pseudo-doula so much.  And it is salted chocolate fake bacon.

Morningstar Farms, how I love thee.  They make a fake bacon product called "breakfast strips."  These are really freakin' tasty.  And here is how I, in all of my pregnant, ridiculous glory, have been managing to get an extra twenty or so grams of protein a day.

Plus?  This is seriously fast.  So fast that I am making it right now.

Step one: Melt your chocolate in the microwave.  The darker the chocolate, the better.  Spread your melted dark chocolate on a plate- so you have an even layer of gooey, chocolaty goodness.

Step two:  Salt liberally.  I've been alternating between shaved sea salt and pink Himalayan sea salt.  They're both awesome.

Salted chocolate.  Simple.

 Step three: Nuke the breakfast strips in the microwave.  Follow the cooking instructions on the box, and then add another 5 seconds or so per strip.  You want them kind of overcooked.  Singed is best.

Fake bacon

Step four: Break your strips into halves or thirds.  Use them basically as chips, to transfer the unholy awesomeness that is the salted chocolate into your face.

This.  Repeatedly.

Enjoy.  You are now an honorary pregnant lady.





...and today, I have an interview up over at The Mom Pledge!  Check it out!

Defining Moments - Lea