July 18, 2012

Confession:

RH
Let's face it, babies are nice.

The confirmed DINKs of the world (that's "dual income no kids," for those of you who don't know any of them) are quick to pass judgement on babies.  They scream, they poop, they're expensive, they make outrageous demands on you, and they are a commitment.  You don't just have a baby for a year or two to see if it works out.  There's no going back from having one.

And so those no-baby folks have plenty of reasons to fall back on for why they will never have kids.

And all of those reasons are valid.

But aside from that?  Babies?  They're nice.  

There's nothing quite like holding a sleeping baby.  And there's nothing quite like being the reason that the baby is asleep.

The act of comforting an infant is profoundly empowering.  And there are so few things in life that are simultaneously empowering and pleasant.  Usually, empowering activities come with an element of danger.  Climbing a mountain is empowering.  Firing a gun is empowering.

Gently rocking a baby to sleep?

You feel like a freakin' rock star.  Like a God.  You are all that is great in humanity.

And all that you did was make the baby sleep.  Or keep the baby asleep.

When you're holding a sleeping baby, you are the embodiment of human goodness.  You are more than that, you are the embodiment of potential.  What you look like, where you came from, any conglomeration of details about who you are... they are meaningless.  You're just a safe, friendly, and somehow beloved creature.

For this reason, babies are addictive.

Really, really addictive.

Which means that baby fever is a disease.  Those who suffer from it are victims of an addiction- and may in fact require help.

And no victims of this affliction are more pitiable than new mothers.

Sleeping
Today I can stand before you and I can say...

"Hello.  My name is Lea, and I have baby fever."

I am one month into my renewed adventures in motherhood, and I can admit it.

Here I am, having slept maybe a scattered six hours in the last twenty four (hooray growth spurt!), roasting in my post-surgical garments in the 90 plus temps, still half brain dead from being pregnant, and with my hips slowly returning to their pre-pregnancy and painless alignment (I hope), and I can tell you this...

I am so not done with babies.

This baby?  She's a month old today.  She's bright eyed and beautiful, on the verge of smiling (she gets her lips to twitch smile-ishly, and you can see in her eyes how much she likes you), she likes nothing more than watching her big sisters play.  Well, except eating.

I've got nine pounds of cute and cuddly that routinely screams at me and requires me to clean up its feces.  And having two nearly-three-year-olds, I know that this keeps going.  For a long time.  Forever.

And yet?

I look at her sleeping, her long torso and her little froggy legs, her tiny fingers curled around mine...

And I want more babies.

Not today.  Not while this one is so pleasantly baby-ish.  Not while all she wants is to be snuggled and held and carried around our suddenly fascinating home.

But the fever...

...it has begun.

Perhaps it's made worse by knowing that now this baby factory has shut its doors.  Perhaps it's compounded by how much the big sisters like their new baby sister.  Perhaps it's due entirely to the fact that I've had round the clock help for this entire month.

Really, this should be enough for anyone.
Whatever the reason, it's there.

The burning urge to get more babies into my clutches.

Oh, I can wait.  I can wait.  But it's always going to be there.

Even if you haven't had a drink in ten years, you're still an alcoholic.

And if you haven't had a baby in a decade...

The sickness may still remain.

Waiting to strike.

My name is Lea, and I have baby fever.

May God have mercy on my soul.


11 comments:

  1. Aww! That's a tough addiction to beat. Your family is adorable!

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  2. I feel exactly the same way, but never put it into words quite so well. The only comfort I can offer is that grandbabies are even better.

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  3. what a cool post. it is addictive. we have 3 but have stopped as dh is 45 and his eldest is 21. so technically he has 5 kids as he has the 21 yr old and a 13yr old then ours. but you are right. holding a baby and nursing them to sleep is empowering.

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  4. There is nothing better than a sleeping baby. I think my baby fever faded when all of a sudden I realized I had a five year old, an 11 year old, and a 9 year old and kind of developed on addiction to my fun older children.

    Now I would take another one in an instance, but I just like the new one to come to me at about age 3 or 4!

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  5. I have baby fever SO. BAD. I'm pretty sure that every time I see a baby, my uterus starts shedding actual tears because it feels so lonely and empty. I tell Rich probably every other day, minimum, "I want a baby soooooo bad...". And what worse is the fact that he feels the same way. In fact, he is like "let's just have one NOW! let's do it! yes!". So I have to be the voice of reason and point out that it really is a much, much better idea to wait until next year so I can get the "good" maternity leave. It's torturous.

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  6. Thanks...after reading this I want another baby and my youngest is five! No really thanks for reminding me of the beauty that is a sleeping baby.

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  7. ooooh i love this. so much. for some reason i don't have baby fever. i never did after i had my Lovie for some reason. i felt very oddball as a result. i mean, who doesn't love babies? oddballs! ;) seriously, i LOVE babies and toddlers and small children. if i could run a daycare center full of them, i would. if i could adopt an army of them, i would. LOVE THEM. but i just don't have baby fever. but i do LOVE snuggling babies. and everything you said about how it's empowering when YOU get them to sleep, etc- SPOT ON.

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  8. I have been cured of this fever. For the first time in probably 12 years, I can snuggle a baby, hand it off to it's mama and be glad it's not mine. This is likely because I have a 7 year old, 4.5 year old, and 15 month old twins. And I have been cured of pregnancy and baby fever. But I remember all of those months and years of fertility issues where I would have stabbed a nun to get a baby in my uterus, then my arms. ((( hug )))

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  9. You baby is beautiful! I'm not sure that baby fever goes away no matter how many children you have!
    Michelle
    http://normalchaosforamultitaskmom.blogspot.com/2012/07/the-beauty-of-rose.html

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  10. Yup, ours are 21, 17, 10, 7, and 15 months, and as much as I say we're all finished, not to mention one is still a baby, there are still those moments when I think, "Just one more..." :)

    I'm here from Fractured Family Tales, and I'm so glad she sent me!

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  11. I get rid of my baby fever by holding my nieces and nephews. ;)

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