Review and Giveaway- Canvas Factory

Hello, lovely readers!

As you are no doubt aware, I recently moved.

Moving is hard as hell. There's the stress of going through everything you own and putting it in boxes, then there's the stress of relocating all those boxes, and then there's the stress of trying to figure out how to take them out again and put them into an entirely different space with entirely different needs. If you've never done it, it's hell, trust me.

One of the fun things about it, though, is getting a chance to make stuff you already have perfect for the first time. For me, that's been all about putting my art on the walls.

In case you didn't know, I have a lot of art and photographs, and I take its placement very seriously. This time around, I am straight up killing it in the gallery wall department. Behold-

That's the wall behind me in my office right now. A thing of glory, isn't it?

But what about my treasured family photographs? I started to put them up, I shuffled frames a million times, and I got to the point where I was pretty happy with what I had. Pretty happy, but not awesome purple gallery wall happy.

It's not bad, right? But it's not perfect. Just looking at this collection of photographs, I knew what was wrong. I needed my wedding picture to be bigger. Those are 5"x7" prints of the girls' school pictures. And they're GORGEOUS. But an 8"x10" photo in a landscape orientation just didn't fit. It's my favorite of our wedding pictures (and if you don't know Cheryl, our amazing photographer, you should 100% check her out and then throw all your money at her), and this was the largest print I had. When we got married and lived just the two of us in our Pilsen apartment, that was fine. And when we lived in our crowded condo in Hyde Park, that was fine, too. But we're suburbanites now. We show off our pictures like we mean it.

And that was when the amazing people at The Canvas Factory came calling. Seriously, it's like they have psychics on staff, just waiting for bloggers like me to have photograph printing needs, and then they pounce.

They offered me a free canvas print, to try out. So I did what any totally obsessive new homeowner would do- I solved the most pressing and important problem in my life. What to do about my wedding portrait.

Picking out how I wanted the print done was AMAZING and easy. They give you all sorts of filters and alterations to choose from- I could have had my wedding picture not only in black and white or sepia, but they gave me all sorts of options for softening, sharpening, fading, texturing, modifying the picture in any way I could imagine. They let me choose if I wanted the photo wrapped around the sides, or if I preferred a single color for the visible edges. It was so detailed, but still so simple, I was completely confident about the finished product before I'd made all my decisions.

I submitted my order, and waited.

When you know something perfect is coming in the mail, waiting can be hard. And being used to being in the next day Amazon delivery area will spoil a person when it comes to waiting for mail. But even with my ridiculous impatience, it didn't take long. Less than a week later, I got my canvas in the mail. And it's everything I hoped it would be.

Ahhhhhh, soooooooooo pretty!!!!!!!

That's a 20"x16" printed canvas hovering about the three 5"x7" school pictures. And it looks SO MUCH BETTER. The color is amazing. The DPIs are crazy high. It's utterly gorgeous, even though I DID crop the picture a little, to center the two of us a bit more in the frame. It looks simply amazing, and it's incredible what a little change like having a high quality, gigantic and beloved image on canvas can do for a space.

It looks so good, people.

And it's a good quality framing job, too. It's all exposed canvas, of course, but the mounting hardware on the back is totally ideal, and makes putting it on the wall a breeze. And I mean, COME ON. How good does that look????

You know you want one.

And lucky you, YOU CAN HAVE ONE TOO!!!

That's right, the amazing psychics at the Canvas Factory are giving one of you lovely readers a code for a completely free 16"x20" print as well! WITH FREE SHIPPING!!!!

All you have to do is post a comment, telling me what picture you'd get printed gigantic and perfect if you could. You don't have to use that one, of course, I just want to know what wonderful memories you want writ large all over your homes. Because it's a beautiful thing to have your happiest moments preserved and presented so lovingly in your home. I smile a big warm smile every time I walk past it. It's rapidly becoming one of my favorite walls in the house. Yes, even compared to my lovely purple office.

So check out The Canvas Factory, and let me know what picture YOU'D get printed in the comments!

What She Said Then, What We're Saying Now

I am beyond thrilled to be able to share with you my inclusion in the upcoming anthology, "Listen To Your Mother: What She Said Then, What We're Saying Now."

Being a cast member of Listen To Your Mother was an incredible experience. Especially because of how it exposed me to so many amazing stories. Each time I drive past a dried field of tall grass, I think of the story told by another mom about when her son and his friends nearly burned down the house by igniting the field behind it, and how she organized the children into a haphazard assembly line to smother the flames lapping at the building with wet blankets while they waited for the fire department to arrive.

I think about Debi's story, how her four year old transitioned from male to female, and how that affected her as a mother. These are stories I think all parents should hear. All humans should hear. It's such a remarkable thing that Listen To Your Mother has done, given these stories a microphone.

It was truly an honor to share a stage with these women. And it is truly an honor to share the pages of a book with them.

The new book is available for pre-order through Amazon now.

I'm so excited about getting a chance to sit down with this book and read it cover to cover. April can't come soon enough.

If you enjoy The Moth, or This American Life, you should order this book.

If it even comes close to holding a candle to the stage show, which I know it will, it's going to be utterly beautiful.

Official announcement here.

Pretty Little Gifts #DIY

This is a sponsored post. I was given products from Simply Bridal in exchange for writing, but all opinions are my own.

It can be hard to find a way to give a special, personal gift to everyone in your life. I've never been a big fan of gift cards, but there are so many people I want to show appreciation or affection for at this time of year, it can feel like options are seriously limited.

For example, the four women who teach my children during the day. I adore them, but I certainly can't stretch my holiday budget enough to get them something really nice.

Or my neighbors. They're wonderful people, but I'm not rushing off to get them all the newest releases on Blu-Ray.

No, the best option is often to make something. Something small, but personal and friendly and lovely. But who has time? With three little kids around, I hardly have time to shower, let alone put together the lovely tins of cookies I once baked.

Enter Simply Bridal.

It might sound a little strange, but a bridal shop is a PERFECT place to pick up the tools to make ridiculously gorgeous (and easy) gifts!

To show you what I mean, Simply Bridal sells a box of a dozen mini milk jars for only $15. That works out to $1.25 per jar.

Add to that a few bags of m&ms, and a bit of ribbon- and POOF! A beautiful little holiday gift!

I like using a gold cloth ribbon with wired sides. The wires keep your bows looking fresh, and the allow you to crimp the tails with your fingers. And the gold compliments all the color schemes of Channukah, Christmas, and Thanksgiving.

The result is something that shows you care enough to put some work into it, although not so difficult to add stress to your busy holiday schedule.

Best part of m&ms- the regular, every-day colors come in Channukah (blue and yellow), Christmas (red and green), and Thanksgiving (brown and orange). It's like somebody knows me.

If you want to get fancy with your candies, you can slide a piece of card stock into the middle of the jar, to put the colors side by side rather than on top of each other. Plus, if you switch the sides of your colors halfway up, you get a lovely checker pattern!

You can use almost any small candies, of course. For a Christmas themed gift, peppermints are an excellent choice. And if you happen to know the favorite candy of the person you plan to give a jar to, it's always best to show you actually know and care about them with their favorites. If I was sticking one of these jars in my husband's stocking, for example, I'd be sure to fill it with mini peanut butter cups.

But if candies aren't your style, don't fret. What I really love to do with these jars is make single serving hot cocoas.

These are so easy. They are so unfathomably easy. And people love them.

The simple hot cocoa jar is a serving of hot cocoa powder, with mini marshmallows topping it off. This is great especially for people you might want to gift who you know spend a lot of time in the cold. Your mail woman, the garbage men, your dog walker, the lady at the crosswalk by the school. For less than two dollars a gift, it's cheaper and more personal than a card. And when they head home and out of the bitter cold, they will be truly grateful for the thoughtfulness.

But what if you're on a really tight budget? What if you only have a few dollars to spend on almost EVERYONE on your list? Times are tough, and I know the poor economy has hit just about all of us. And along with the tighter budgets, more and more of the people I know are living with dietary restrictions that would make giving them any of the above jars insensitive.

If you're in a situation like that, this is the solution you've been looking for. Gourmet, food-restriction friendly, reusable cocoa jars. Beautiful reusable jars of spectacular hot cocoa.

You can personalize your flavors with crushed peppermints or ginger hard candies or instant coffee. You can be certain to avoid dairy, gluten, or even sugar. When you invest a little bit in the ingredients, you can divvy the costs into your dozen of presents, and give a truly thoughtful gift to somebody for half the cost of a fancy Starbuck's flavored frappaccino.

And when they see the jar? My favorite moment of the holidays is when somebody sees their gift for the first time, and you know you've nailed it, and made their day and their winter a brighter, happier place.

Two teaspoons of powdered sugar. Five teaspoons of cocoa powder. Half a teaspoon of powdered vanilla extract. One and a half teaspoons of cinnamon sugar. Fill the jar the rest of the way with vegan marshmallows (I like Dandies, but there are other options!), and stick a cinnamon stick through the bow.

Thirty dollars for all your ingredients and jars, and that's gifts for absolutely everyone in your office.

Simply Bridal has a wonderful selection of other jar options for similar prices. For another $5, your jars can come with chalkboard labels (and you know how much I love those chalkboard labels).

And the best part?

This is THE TIME OF YEAR to buy supplies from a bridal shop. Wedding season is over, and that means you can get much better deals on things like wedding favors.

Head to Simply Bridal and check out their selection of bridal favor options, and keep in mind how grateful people are when they can repurpose a present. A little jar, even empty, is useful. And a little jar filled beautifully with something sweet or meaningful?

That's a present nearly anyone would be happy to receive.

Get thee hence to Simply Bridal! Buy some beautiful jars and spend an easy hour making gifts for everyone! Save yourself some hassle, and make people think you're Martha Stewart.

That can be your gift to yourself. And to your bank account.

Your New Favorite Store

This is a sponsored post. All opinions are my own.

I am a year round shopper. In general, when I find that perfect thing that I just know somebody on my list is going to love, I just go ahead and buy it. At any given time, I have half a dozen birthday/Christmas/Channukah/Anniversary gifts hiding in my home, waiting for the day I give them to somebody who I know is going to love them.

That said, my days of year-round shopping may be behind me. Because I've found the world's best shop for awesome things for everybody that I know.

UncommonGoods.

As you may recall, I am a big fan of giving kids activities, rather than toys.

UncommonGoods has an amazing selection of toys and activities for kids. My two favorites, without a doubt, are the Make Your Own Ukelele Kit and the Make Your Own Snowglobe Kit,

If M and I hadn't gotten the twins guitars for their birthday, we'd be getting them this kit. How cool is that? Build, decorate, and learn to play your own ukelele?! I want one of those!!!

Other great toys from UncommonGoods are their language blocks. They have alphabet blocks in Chinese, Braille, Hebrew, and Hieroglyphs.

Something the twins are getting from UncommonGoods this Channukah is the Gummy Bear Lights. These things are so much better than they even looked on the website. They're flexible silicone, and really easy to use. They produce what is pretty much exactly the right amount of light to let them curl up with a gummy bear and a book in bed, and not produce enough light to disturb the two year old sleeping on the other end of the room.



My favorite feature of this toy is that it has a timer- it automatically turns off after an hour. So when one of my favorite five year olds falls asleep reading, I don't have to sneak in and turn it off.

Of course, just having an awesome, snuggleable night light isn't enough- you've got to have something to read by it, right?

UncommonGoods has a most beautiful personally curated collection of picture books. We got a copy of Lineup for Yesterday, Ogden Nash's alphabetic ode to Baseball with some of the most wonderful illustrations I've seen in a long time.

It's a ridiculously beautiful book.

 In addition to the poem, which is a really fun way to talk baseball with the kids, every few stanzas there's a page of brief biographies of the baseball players in the poem, including the teams they played for and the years they played. It's a gorgeous piece of baseball history.

I would tell you to go check out every single item individually, but there's no point. EVERY SINGLE ITEM is carefully selected, and they're all sort of magical. If you check out the selection of gifts for women, you'll find it's so much more than the usual gendered assortment of scarves and tea towels. Although those are gorgeous too.

There's a selection of steampunk light switch plates I would LOVE to get for half of my friends.

There's a selection of the world's cleverest hot cocoa and marshmallow delivery systems.

There's a set of mix tape tumblers. MIX TAPE GLASSWARE!!!!

I mean- seriously.

The diversity of the stuff in their gifts for dudes section is pretty epic, too. And best of all, they know that these items can and SHOULD overlap. There's no sense that "Shot glasses are for men and throw cushions are for women." It's a philosophy of, "Awesome stuff is for everybody."

But the icing on this cake of fabulous is without a doubt the people running UncommonGoods. Based out of Brooklyn, NY, they are dedicated to products that don't harm animals, the environment, or people. Half of their products are hand made, and the majority are made in the USA. About a third are recycled or upcycled materials, and even that isn't the best part.

Every time somebody makes a purchase at UncommonGoods, the owners donate $1 to charity. Not just any charity, four in particular. Including the one nearest and dearest to my heart, RAINN.

Get thee hence to UncommonGoods and finish up your holiday shopping. Support small businesses instead of giving all your money to Amazon and Walmart. Get something made with love, sold with love, and then given with love.

And add UncommonGoods to your bookmarks, because when you need to buy somebody something awesome, it's the first place you should look.

Kidecals Chalkboard Labels- A Gorgeous Way To Get Organized

This is s sponsored post- I was given Kidecals to try for free. All opinions are my own.

Recently, I was fortunate enough to be offered an opportunity to review a product I'm totally crazy about.

They're called Kidecals.

Kidecals makes a huge array of products, but what I assumed they made most of were wall decals. At first, I was hesitant to try them out- I've tried wall decals before, and almost always been disappointed. Particularly in the kids' room, where the walls have this gross texture that makes it impossible to get a decal to stick properly.

But after checking out the Kidecals website, I saw how many additional products they make. Still decals, yes, but not for walls only. They have these really cool decals for computer keyboards, to personalize your computer in a unique way. (Seriously, I may get the wood grain decals for Grandmommy and Poppa for Channukah.)

They have sheets of personalized labels for kids' school stuff. And seriously, labeling all the backpacks, lunchboxes, water bottles, shoes, sweaters, and EVERYTHING for a set of twins is a pain in butt- this is a MUCH better solution.

But what really excited me the most were the home organization decals.

I have a small kitchen. Really, it's crazy small. But I've made do with a little creative furniture repurposing and some general decorating choices.

Enter, Kidecals.

As I don't really have cabinets, I need to store my dry goods in plain sight, which means finding a way to make them both attractive and functional. When I first established this system, I bought a small package of chalkboard labels and a bit of chalkboard paint. I only labeled the things that weren't immediately obvious (All Purpose Flour next to Bread Flour, Basmati Rice next to Jasmine Rice, things like that). But it was inconsistent and I was never too crazy about the resulting look. Plus, the chalkboard paint flaked off, and the chalkboard labels didn't hold to the chalk. It was disorganized and confusing, and on many occasions a well intentioned houseguest dumped powdered sugar into my cake flour. But I couldn't get the labels off! I was stuck with them.

My old labels

So I decided to try out the Kidecals chalkboard labels, which came in a variety of attractive shapes.

Let's do a quick side by side comparison:

That's a Kidecals label on the left, a World Market label on the right.

Okay, so it obviously LOOKS better off the bat, but what about when I grab the jar I'm looking for? What happens when I touch the label? With the old labels, even the most casual, glancing brush with a stray finger, and the chalk is gone. I decided to try intentionally swiping my finger, roughly, across my old labels and a Kidecals label,

Yup. It smudged, but only just a bit.

And the Kidecals labels are CRAZY affordable! For what I spent on two packages of six blackboard labels previously, I got two sets of two sheets of Kidecals labels.

Another cool thing about the Kidecals labels? The plaque and cloud shaped came on what looked like a sticker sheet- meaning there was EXTRA LABEL MATERIAL! I of course used it to make teeny tiny labels for my salt cellars. Yes, writing legibly with chalk at that scale can be tricky, but it's also so much fun!

I got so many labels for my $30 worth, not only did I label all the beans, flours, sugars, salts, oils, and vinegars, I even went to town in the fridge. I like to re-use mason jars for things like jam (when you buy a Costco size vat of strawberry preserves, you don't always want to have to lug a four pound glass jar back and forth to the table each time your kids want a sandwich).

Now my fridge matches my counter, with minced garlic, strawberry jam, nutritional yeast, and baking yeast all clearly and attractively labeled.

These labels are not going anywhere. They are on there for good, so far withstanding hand washing of the jars and bottles without peeling or curling.

I love that people can come into my kitchen and find exactly what they're looking for. I love that I can find exactly what I'm looking for. And I love the way the whole thing looks put together.

I definitely recommend Kidecals. And lucky you, you can get your own and save!

Kidecals is a big supporter of parents, particularly parents of multiples. They understand how much more difficult the task of labeling things for kids gets when there are more children involved, and they want to help. They're offering you a discount on a sliding scale, depending on the number of kids in the house.

2 children: doubles2014 = 15% off $25 or more

3 children: threes2014 = 20% off $50 or more

4 children: fours2014 = 25% off $75 or more

5 children: fives2014 = 30% off $100 or more

6 children: sixes2014 = 35% off $125 or more

7 children: sevens2014 = 40% off $150 or more

Go forth and get yourself some Kidecals! Get organized! And get your house a little more gorgeous.

Because, seriously.

That's a kitchen I can be proud of.

To the Parents Who Bought My Daughters Birthday Presents, and All Givers of Gifts to Children

My children worked on these mosaic boxes for SEVEN HOURS. Five hours in one sitting.

Thank you.

Last year, when I sent home invitation to SI and DD's birthday party, I was careful to include a not that NOBODY was under any obligation to bring my children gifts. Yet, everybody brought one anyway. So this year I included no such note, and the massive heap of presents my children received was genuinely alarming.

We're urban people. We know how limited space is, and how difficult birthdays and holidays can be for this reason. So as my daughters set to opening their mountain of generous gifts, I held my breath and hoped for the best.

The best is what my children got, and this is why:

Their presents contained almost no toys.

I don't know who started the fad of giving activities as a gift, but whoever did it... thank you as well.

So proud of their finished boxes

In the week since they had their party, my children have each spent approximately seven hours putting together their mosaic fairy jewelry boxes, four hours decorating new dolls, and more hours than I can count with their sticker books and box of watercolor pencils.

Of course this is something I want to do. Of course I relish the opportunity to actually accomplish household tasks. To vacuum the couch, and put away laundry, and do dishes, and start the crock pot...

And yes, write.

All of these things are normally impossible when my children are home, say, for a five day weekend encompassing Sukkot and a Monday where M absentmindedly took my car keys to work in his pocket.

My children are happily playing, but also learning, and taking pride in their accomplishments. They now have jewelry boxes they made themselves, to fill with their many little treasures. They now have dolls they've designed and named themselves, to have adventures with.

These gifts are helping teach my children independence, because they don't have all the same crafts to do. This afternoon DD is making stained "glass" hangings while SI is making a pillow.

These gifts are helping teach them to share, as they give extra parts and stickers and colored pencils to their baby sister, so she can join in the fun.

And yes, I recognize that these are still toys, and the yes, I'll have to find space somehow for the results of all this crafting. But they are also so much more.

They are experiences and memories, and the gift of pride and dedication and motivation.

These are gifts to my children not just for their fifth birthday, but for their lives.

So thank you, thank you to the dozens of parents who chose to get my children tasks instead of toys.

Thank you to all of you.

And to any of you parents out there, struggling with ideas for what to get strange children from your kid's class.. please. Do the other mom a favor. Give them an activity.

Please make this a trend that sticks.

 And as we enter the holiday gift season, please. Remember this. Remember that giving a child an opportunity to make something for themselves is greater than a simple object. It gives that object meaning- pride, and hard work.

And most importantly, it gives a tired parent somewhere a chance to drink a hot cup of tea or empty the dryer in peace.

Motherhood: May Cause Drowsiness

Hello, lovely readers!

I am thrilled to announce the publication of a new humor anthology-
Motherhood: May Cause Drowsiness

I'm honored to say that yours truly is a contributor with two pieces in the collection.

It's a wonderful book of stories and essays about one of the great unifiers of parenthood- exhaustion. Be it sleepless nights or sleepless days, anxiety or cluster feeding, let's face it. We don't get to sleep as much as we'd like. We live in a fog of sleep deprived confusion, which is probably why this morning I called SI by my childhood cat's name by accident.

She was not amused.

I'm so excited to be a part of this project. It's been such an educational experience to watch the collection come together. Lisa Nolan, the editor, kept all of us intimately in the loop through the whole process, and it was really cool to see how an idea becomes a book.

I've loved getting to know all the other contributors, and I can't wait to finish reading it!

You can get your copy here. Or you can get your Christmas shopping done early and just get a copy for everyone you know. ;)

Happy reading!

Things You Didn't Know You Needed: Granola Strolla

I want to tell you about an awesome person and the incredibly cool thing she's doing.

About five and a half years ago, I met this awesome lady- Irene. She and I were part of the same due date club, both pregnant for the first time.

I liked her a lot. She was nerdy and crafty and crunchy, and even over the internet she conveyed a sense of quiet confidence I found really comforting and inspiring.

Her son was born a few weeks before my twins, and we kept tabs on each other, distant though we might be.

Back in the early days of motherhood, she lamented about the "green" products available for parents. So many were green in name only, and there were so many needs that hadn't been met. She and her husband, Ben, are both makers. Irene blogs about sewing and crafting on Tea With Frodo. Ben is an engineer and a general tinkerer. They decided to start making parenting products with an earth friendly attitude. They decided to call their venture Granola Strolla, and began designing. Ben undertakes the technical aspects, and Irene keeps things attractive and functional. With her aesthetics and his know-how, they were ready to start inventing.

The thing is though, Irene and her family have had a lot going on these last five years. Her son and husband were both diagnosed on the spectrum, and her family moved. Then, two and a half years ago, she underwent a preventative bilateral mastectomy. She knew she was a carrier of the BRCA1 gene, and she blogged all the way through her surgeries. She helped start a Memphis chapter of FORCE, a nonprofit dedicated to battling hereditary breast cancer, and a support group for people, like Irene, who carry the gene. She is a warrior, and she wanted to use her blog and its platform to educate people and help them stay healthy and safe.

As though that weren't enough for one person and one family, Irene and her family struggled to add their next child, who was born at 25 weeks and 4 days. Despite all the challenges, Irene's family is together and healthy, and she and her husband Ben are ready to take Granola Strolla to the masses.



Their first product is a portable solar USB charger. Because parents are constantly running down the batteries on their phones, cameras, tablets... anything the kids can play with, really. And a solar charger can keep them running when a family is on the move.





There are a few things that make Ben and Irene's design really unique. First, there's the multidirectional panels. That's awesome, because no matter how it gets dropped or tossed around, it will always be charging.  The next thing that makes is so cool is how sturdy it is. It's designed with parents in mind, so it's made to withstand small children and their attentions.

But the coolest thing of all, in my opinion, is the battery. Not only is this a way to use the sun to charge your phone and your iPad, the battery inside is environmentally friendly as well.

Plus? Because it's so sturdy, and because it's multidirectional, you can simply clip it onto your diaper bag to take it with you anywhere.

Granola Strolla is also made in the USA, helping bring jobs to Tennessee.


FOX13 News, WHBQ FOX 13


It's perfect for camping, it's perfect for somebody who bikes to and from work, and it's perfect for parents.

I think it's a brilliant product, and not just because I think Irene and Ben are just plain brilliant.

It's a brilliant design. It's a great product. And it's a competitive price.

Irene and Ben are kickstarting the Granola Strolla portable USB solar charger, and they're more than halfway to their goal with ten days to go.

It's rare to find somebody as remarkable and and motivated as Irene, and it's even rarer to have the opportunity to help that person make their dreams a reality.

Go check out Granola Strolla on Kickstarter, and think about how different car trips would be without ever having to worry about your phone losing its juice.

Let's get it funded now, because I can't wait to see what Irene and Granola Strolla start making next.

It's a Book!!!

Weighing in at 1lbs, 1oz, and making its debut bright and in the wee hours of this morning is the newest member of my family!

It's name? My Other Ex: Women's True Stories of Losing and Leaving Friends, and yes, it's kind of like my baby. In that I love it, and I'm carrying it with me everywhere, and I can't shut up about it.

And it's wonderful. And it's the best book. And LOOK! It has my eyes!

...well, not exactly. But the cover is the same color as my eyes, so it's pretty much the same thing.

Actually, it's the same color as my giant tattoo.

Let's just say there is DEFINITELY a family resemblance.

I'm so honored to be included in this anthology. The stories are riveting, ranging from the completely relatable to scenes that seem like they must be cut from some sort of movie.

Only there aren't a lot of movies about friendship breakups. Because we don't talk about them- we don't like to talk about the end of platonic love.

The more I read this book (I've read the whole thing two and a half times so far. It's that good.), the more I wonder why we as a culture don't ask these questions more often. We talk over and over again about BFFs, and we love stories, even tragic ones, about friends that remain close no matter what happens.

The First Wives Club, Thelma and Louise, Then and Now...

But what about the other side of the story of friendship? Because not every friendship is forever. But that doesn't make the love any less real.

This is a beautiful book. Not just because it's the color of my eyes and ink. (Although, yes, it is now my go-to accessory for absolutely everything.) It's a beautiful book because of the honesty and intensity inside it.

Go buy it! Read it! Buy it for a friend you haven't seen in years. Buy it for a friend you haven't seen in hours.

It's worth every bittersweet memory the stories drag up.

And for that, so much more than being included among the authors, I'm grateful.

Hilary Clinton Is Evil, and Other Lessons from #Divergent

Warning! Spoilers ahead!

Last week, I was ridiculously lucky enough to score a pair of tickets to an advance screening of Divergent.

Yes, I know, it's in wide release now and you've probably already seen it. So why bother reviewing it at this point?

Because me and M are STILL arguing over it.

You read that right. My husband and I, who only ever participate in prolonged arguments about the secular v. religious aspects of Christmas, have been arguing for almost a week about a movie.

For those of you unaware, it seems the 20-teens are the decade of the teenaged badass heroine. Which I think is FANTASTIC. And the heroine of Divergent is great. The actress, Shailene Woodley, knocks it out of the park. Generally speaking, when you're watching a movie about a ton of teenagers that involves long, elaborate scenes featuring only ONE actor, and that ONE actor is the teen girl... well... they get pretty insipid.

Not so in Divergent. Shailene Woodley was absolutely captivating. Especially in her solo scenes.

But that's not what M and I have been bickering about. We've been picking at each other over absolutely everything else.

You see, neither of us have read the Divergent books (although you can bet we're going to), but we're both political junkies, and we both love dystopian fantasies.

One of the things we've both always appreciated about dystopias like, say The Hunger Games, is how it plays on current economics. It's a haves versus have nots society. There is no middle class. It's a satire of life pretty much as we're living it now in America- with politicians proposing to cut food subsidies to poor children's families if those children perform poorly in school. Say, because they're hungry. But I digress.

EVERY dystopian fantasy is based on pointing out a flaw or two in the real world and blowing it way out of proportion. The Handmaid's Tale is an excess of religious misogyny, Fahrenheit 451 is an excess of anti-intellectualism, The Hunger Games is an excess of income inequality...

So where is Divergent's theme? What's the bad thing that the heroine is going to fight against?

The Divergent society is divided into five strict castes, with basically no interaction between them. People are lumped together because they're either kind, happy, brave, honest, or smart. and 95% of all people just are whatever they're born into. As teenagers they get one chance, one in their entire lives, to pick a different caste and never see their families again. If you don't have a caste? You get nothing. No job, no food, no home. Nothing.

Sounds kind of like a bad idea, right?

So you have this heroine who is divergent, who is MORE than just one thing. Seems like it's going to be her job to make sure that people are free to BE more than just one thing, right?

Wrong. You see, the smart people? They're bad. They're bad bad bad bad bad. So bad they're going to brainwash the brave people (soldiers) and make them kill the honest people (politicians).

My little abnegation and my little erudite-
both dressed like little amity sprites 

So it's the heroine's job to protect the incredibly segregated society.

Because the strict caste system is good.

So no, this isn't a dystopia, aside from the fact there was a war that trashed Chicago (and let me say, I LOVED watching every shot that included Chicago landmarks), it's a utopian ideal.

Fundamentally, nearly everyone is happy in one single role. Fundamentally, this is a good system.

So says the mechanics of this dystopian universe.

What makes it bad are smart people. Smart people who are to be feared, who are power hungry and paranoid and evil. It's not a cry against anti-intellectualism, it's an anti-intellectual fantasy camp.

To rub a little salt in that wound, the HQ of all the evil bad no-good smart people is the University of Chicago. You know. Obama's school.

And the supervillian of the smarties? She's a thinly veiled Hilary Clinton reference.

There is a lot to like in this movie. It passes the Bechdel test with flying colors. The special effects were SPECTACULAR. The tension was great, it was suspenseful and engaging... but it seemed to me an obvious right wing counterpoint to the left leaning Hunger Games.

Katniss is fighting an oligarchy of both business and government run by the elite, dragged into things against her will.
Tris is fighting FOR a strict caste system, as a volunteer and ring leader.

Katniss lives in a society where the working poor toil in factories and mines with no access to education or social advancement.
Tris lives in a magical society with no manufacturing sector, where people who do nothing but toil all day in the fields are super freakin' happy about it.

The teenagers in Katniss's life who pose the greatest threat are the super militarist kids who buy into the system of the class divide.
The teenagers in Tris's life who pose the greatest threat are the ones who read the newspaper.

Katniss lives in a society full of homeless poor, and sees it as an injustice.
Tris lives in a society where the homeless are cautionary tales, but really no more. They're basically not even human beings.

Katniss thinks the district system is bad and unfair.
Tris thinks the faction system is good and right.


The big crossover is that both of these movies involve teenagers killing each other, and lots of shots of a girl in a leather jacket, running.



...so why are my husband and I fighting about this movie?

For the first time in our relationship, I find myself in the position of telling him to chill out and be moderate. Every few minutes he'll text me with another little detail from the movie, and an explanation of how it's anti-intellectual, anti-woman, or anti-public service. He's nearly panicked over wondering where all the brave children and elderly are (after all, 95% of people are born in their caste, right? And die there.). Every few hours I have to roll my eyes and say, "Dude, not every single shot in the movie is a metaphor for how the Bush family is born to run the United States government forever."

Which is weird for me, as I'm usually the more liberal of the two of us. And also kind of makes me love him even more.

And I keep complaining to him about basic world building. This is Chicago- why is EVERYONE white? And more importantly- WHERE THE HELL ARE THE FACTORIES??? If the only laborers in the entire society are farmers, who's making the guns and unlimited supply of ceramic shooting targets? M keeps telling me to relax, it's just a movie, not every fantasy has to specifically tell you where it gets its toys.

I also have huge problems with the dry, totally forced love story, in which a teacher uses his position of authority to seduce a student. (Doesn't matter if she thinks he's cute- if you're an adult you shouldn't be bringing teenagers to your bed. Period.)

There are so many things about the movie I loved, or wanted to love. I loved Kate Winslet, even if she was portraying bizarro-Clinton. I loved Shailene Woodley, that girl is my new hero, and I can't wait to see her in The Fault In Our Stars. I loved the trippy fear sequences, with nightmare landscapes of my city and gorgeous cinematography dripping with symbolism. I loved the dark aspects of the underbelly of society. I loved the theme of the importance of family despite caste.

I loved the way the pre-release event was handled, everyone in the theater also got a copy of the first six chapters of the book, which is AWESOME. Any movie that encourages people to read is okay by me.

But the climactic action sequence was unbelievable, and you have to shut down your brain during the whole thing, to avoid thinking about the fact that being smart means being evil. And of course, shutting down your brain seems to be what the producers want.

I hope I'm wrong. I hope the next two movies turn the tables on this society, and the brave, kind, AND smart Tris helps take the whole world apart.

Because if you ask me, a society where you're born to be a politician is a bad society. And a society where if you're smart you're also evil is a bad society. And a society where you slave in the fields (or more realistically the factories) all day and never get a voice in your government is a bad society. And a society where your law enforcement is judge, jury, and executioner- accountable to nobody and flooded in a culture of dare-devil hyper-masculinity- is a bad society.

Not an ideal to be upheld by the lucky few mavericks who know how to keep their heads down and fit in.

Review: TwirlyGirl Truly Tankful Dress

SI- My TwirlyGirl

Disclaimer: This is a sponsored post. I was given a dress for free to review, but all the opinions within are my own.


The kind folks over at TwirlyGirl were gracious enough to send my daughters a Truly Tankful Dress, and it took us FOREVER to find a chance for them to wear it! This winter has been bleak, and miserable, and seemingly endless. They have more than a passing obsession with girls party dresses, so you can imagine it caused no end to the confusion of a single dress with no sleeves in the middle of winter between two excited four year olds.

So the first day that the sun shone and we threw open the windows to let in an early spring breeze, and SI donned the dress.

SI is my dancing TwirlyGirl

As I'm now raising three daughters, I consider myself something of an expert on party dresses for girls. I've seen them ruined with a little dirt, I've seen them cause rashes, I've seen them tug in odd places, and I pretty much know when to anticipate all those things.

The TwirlyGirl dress? Perfect. No itchy tags. No itchy seams. As far as girl party dresses go, this one was easily the most comfortable dress they've worn, outside of Grandma's homemade masterpieces.

But that was just SI's opinion. The next day, and a trip through the laundry later, it was DD's turn.

First of all, I'm not sure I've ever seen a girls party dress go through the wash and come out looking as perfect as it went in. No pilling. No staining. No weird stretches. It might as well have been brand new.

DD LOVED IT.

DD twirling in her TwirlyGirl dress
(Nevermind the rainbow on her forehead- that's kind of a long story.)

At first she complained a little that despite being called "TwirlyGirl," it didn't really twirl. But she got over that quickly when I pointed out that the pattern made it look like she was twirling even when she was standing still. That was a pretty huge thrill. Optical illusions- a preschooler's best friend!

What truly shocked me was that both children fit the dress equally well. This is NEVER the case. DD is stockier and shorter, SI is skinny as a beanpole and bony to boot. (You'll note the dress stops at the DD's knee, but sits at about SI's mid-thigh.) But they were both completely comfortable, both perfectly happy, and both delighted with their opportunities to wear it.

I have no idea why the three of them are doing the Care Bear Stare.

I watched both of my children perform contortions, aerobics, acrobatics, and assorted stunts of daring-do in these dresses, and they never once complained about the attire. That something itched, or their skirt was in their way, or anything. And if you've ever had a four year old, you know that there is almost nothing on this earth they can spend a whole day near without coming up with some sort of complaint.

She's a ballerina on a stage.

I had two days where only two children whined that something about their clothing was weird, and you can't put a price on that.

If you'd like to see the whole collection of girls party dresses, you can visit TwirlyGirl. You'll note that, as DD prefers, most of their dresses there ARE quite twirly. Just the thing for Passover or Easter. Best of all? I happen to know that all the cake and candy your kids might eat on those holidays will wash out of these dresses.

Look at that! Good as new!

Happy Spring, everyone!

Let's Talk About Beds, Baby

You probably have one of these.

Nearly thirty years ago now, I was born human. And being human has some drawbacks. One of those is the required ownership of a human spine.

Now, I don't know if you know this, but these guys are seriously flawed. I mean, don't get me wrong. They're amazing. Without them, we wouldn't be able to accomplish about 99.9% of all the spectacular achievements of humanity. But they have a laundry list of problems.

At the top of that list is pain. Standard, run-of-the-mill back pain. It sucks, and nearly everybody's going to get it at some point. Why? Because you have one of these things, and you're going to use it to sit or stand for a couple of decades without taking a nice, antigravity break.

For some of us, the problems come sooner than later. I was blessed/cursed with what my favorite bra website refers to as an "ample bosom" at an early age. By the time I was fifteen, I started needing to see doctors to help me take care of this spine of mine and the incessant pain it caused me. Add to that a couple injuries, a few pregnancies, and then the perils of running around your house constantly while hunched down to about three feet high to chase and communicate with miniature people... well...

Suffice to say, my spine and I have a strained relationship.

I've done an amazing number of things to combat my back pain, which is a combination of standard lumbar pain (that's your lower back), more complex thoracic pain (thank you big boobs), and trauma-induced cervical pain (that's my neck- not my lady business). I've got two chiropractors on speed dial, a favorite acupuncturist, a long list of preferred yoga routines (depending on the area giving me trouble), an equally long list of strength building exercises for the muscles in those areas, running prescriptions for Vicodan and Flexeril (taken judiciously), a massage therapist who knows more about what's going on in my life than my parents... you get the idea.

My kids think Sleepy's is the best place ever.

And starting about four months ago, we got a new mattress.

Let's hold on a second- four months ago? I got the thing four months ago, and I'm only going to tell you all about it NOW? What's wrong with me? What kind of awful blogger am I?

A thoroughly awful one. And by that, I mean I'm thorough.

Let me tell you a little about how my lifestyle has changed in the past four months.

I am back-pain-free about 70% of the time.

That might not sound like a lot to you, but let me tell you, it is HUGE. I've gone from seeing a chiropractor 1-2 times a week to seeing a chiropractor once every other month. (I'll just let you imagine how those savings add up- don't forget to factor in childcare for chiro appointments.) I've refilled my Flexeril prescription once in that time span. Only once. I haven't had any acupuncture. I've (sadly) only had two massages.

In the last third of a year, I've probably saved in pain management about a third of the cost of my brand new mattress.

It kind of blows my mind that we can't use our HSA to pay for the mattress, it's been such a health boon to me.

But not just to me. And not just the mattress.

The Sleepy's guy who sold us our mattress didn't just sell us a mattress. And at no point did he try to up-sell us a mattress. He walked us through the store, helping M and I test the various elements of each model- learning about the different parts of a newfangled mattress (ours is a coil based system, but has a band of memory foam type material running through in a band to provide a little additional lumbar support). He helped us find something that helped me and my bazillion times larger husband sleep more comfortably.

He did more than THAT though, too. He helped us pick out new pillows. Pillows that actually fit our necks, and our sleeping styles. Who knew that could actually make such a big difference?

And I was going to write about it then, but I couldn't. Because I really didn't know how I felt about it yet. I didn't know how I felt about a bed that was a full foot higher than the one I was used to. M didn't know how he felt about a bed that was tall enough that the edges actually needed to support his weight when he sat down. And it's hard to tell after just a few weeks whether or not you're really feeling any better about it.

I actually need a step stool to get into bed.

Sleepy's gave us a money back, no questions asked guarantee, and we almost took them up on it.
Almost. Because you really do have to LEARN how to sleep on a different bed every night. It's weird- you'd think it's as simple as just laying down and sleeping, but it's not.

Now, most mornings when I wake up, my hands ache and cramp, but my back? Feels just fine. I wake up without back pain. That's totally new to me.

M sleeps through the whole night most nights, whereas he used to toss and turn. And we've gotten used to it. Even after I got us a new bed frame, one that was EVEN TALLER, we're still happy with the bed. Because we're less tired, less achey, and less reluctant to get started in the morning. You know, because we're better rested. It's a magical thing.

Really, the whole experience was kind of spectacular. The prices were good, when there was trouble processing our payment (on their end, not ours) and they had to miss our delivery, they made up for it by delivering for free.

And, of course, they took away the old mattress and box spring so we never had to worry about them again.

I can't recommend Sleepy's enough. (Particularly the Sleepy's at 605 W. Roosevelt Rd. in Chicago.) But I can tell you that investing in a good mattress was, in hindsight, just common sense.

I'm pretty optimistic that by the anniversary of getting our new mattress, it will have saved us as much in medical costs (and attached childcare costs) as the thing cost in the first place. I wish we'd bought a new mattress when I was pregnant with the twins, five years ago. Who knows how much we might have saved by now?

I'm not saying a good mattress will fix your broken back. I'm saying that for once, I'm sleeping in a bed that isn't actually making things worse. That supports my spine and lets it rest and recover from the previous day without causing any additional damage.

It took me a few months to be certain about how I feel, but now I'm sure. I feel great. I feel better than I've felt in years.

And I can offer my bed no higher praise than that.

...thanks, Sleepy's.


Sleepy's did provide me with $100 in gift cards, but all the opinions and choices represented here are my own.

Yodelay HEE HOOOO!!!

It's hard to believe, but it's true.

I'M STILL IN BLOGGER IDOL!!!

I don't know what you guys were smoking to get all those votes in, but keep smoking it!

Here is the post that nearly got me eliminated:



Accoutrements Yodeling Pickle-  Not as Titillating as it Appears

My husband is a thoughtful guy. He knows everything about me, from my favorite flavor of ice cream to which days of the month it's most crucial that he brings them home after work. This has, however, not made him the world's greatest gift-giver.

Several months ago, he headed off for a long weekend with his friends. After watching the car drive down the street, I returned to the house and found an Amazon package on the bed, with a bow on top and a note reading. "Ordered this for you. In case you miss me." Inside I found this item.

Knowing how insane our three kids would be in his absence, and knowing my favorite method of coping with a stressful day after the children are in bed involved a *cough cough* different kind of pickle, I quickly stashed this green guy in my bedside table.

True to form, the children were mess-creating maniacs.

They emptied every drawer in the toy room and tried to flush six pounds of Mardi Gras beads down the toilet. They tore a hole in the couch upholstery and promptly filled it with My Little Ponies. And on top of that, the mice hiding in our dining room decided to finally make an appearance during dinner, leading the twins to a two hour quest to steal cheese from the fridge and surreptitiously "Feed it to Mickey and Minnie."

When bedtime came, and the sounds of three tiny snorers issued peacefully through the baby monitor, I was more than a little stressed out. My thoughts wandered to my big, beefy, romantic, and somewhat naughty husband... and the gift he had left me.

It was rather smaller than many such "toys" I've seen, which I assumed was my husband's intention- he wouldn't give me anything intimidating. The texture was less "ribbed for her pleasure" and more "a complex series of surprising sensations." And the green color did nothing to replicate the genuine article. I confess- my husband's member has never resembled the emerald green of the device before me. Realism certainly wasn't a factor in his choice of stress-relief proxy-penis.

I was a little nervous. I've had bad experiences with things I've purchased from Amazon before. But I had no doubt my loving husband had done his research, and I set aside my concerns to enjoy some hard won peace and quiet. I poured myself a glass of wine, lit some candles, and ran a bubble bath. Hey, if I was going to enjoy myself, I was going to REALLY enjoy myself.

With the sounds of Portishead quietly playing around the candlelit tub, I climbed in. And after a moment- I reached for my husband's present. I closed my eyes, bit my lip, and pushed what I thought was the "on" button.

A thunderous sound echoed off the tiled wall-



I handled the situation with impressive decorum, considering the circumstances.

My "relaxing" evening ended with me standing naked in the hallway, yelling to the confused and completely conscious children to keep off the glass covered floor (and getting an inevitable sliver of my shattered wine glass in my own foot). Of course the two four years olds wanted to jump into the bubble bath. And the toddler felt the need to join into the shouting match that followed, in grand toddler fashion.

Peace and quiet did not resume until well after midnight.

When my husband got home, I demanded an explanation. "I figured if you started missing me, I could annoy you from a distance and you'd be glad I'm gone."

Mission accomplished. My sexual nightmares are still filled with singing, dancing, anthropomorphic pickles.

In short, this is a very good yodeling pickle, if what you're looking for is a pickle that yodels. But don't even try for off-label purposes.

It's just not worth the trauma.

DISCLOSURE: This product review is fictional. It is an assignment from Blogger Idol. The opinions and statements here are fictional and were formed based on reviews on the site, as well as fictional ideas from myself.